Venting Life recently

[knydane]

I still haven't found myself. Maybe I should be more patient and give myself more time? But how much more time do I need? I don't know. I've tried, really hard, to find who I am and I still don't know. I don't know a single thing about me. I don't know what I enjoy, who and what I care about, etc. It's been hard to act like a "normal person" and I've slowly been caring less and less, removing myself from all conversations and people's lives and getting more tired trying to figure out who the fuck I am as a person and what I actually want. If I wasn't so focused pleasing other people, I wouldn't have ended up this way, so I only have myself to blame. My parents expect me to be the best and live with a job I don't want, that they chose for me, everyone expects me to do everything for them and be happy around them, etc. I'm so close to giving up, but recently I listened to a piece of music which made my stomach hurt, it doesn't give me that feeling anymore, but that thought gives me a bit of hope that things might get better and I won't have to resort to disappearing if I don't find myself out.

 

[SVEN]

As long as you entertain even a tiny hope that you may yet find a better way of life there is no reason to ctb. If or when you decide all hope is gone, every avenue shut down, then that bus will still be coming along.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself every chance. Best wishes whatever you decide.

 

[knydane]

As long as you entertain even a tiny hope that you may yet find a better way of life there is no reason to ctb. If or when you decide all hope is gone, every avenue shut down, then that bus will still be coming along.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself every chance. Best wishes whatever you decide.

Thanks, I'll keep trying as best as I can, I'll wait a little longer