Venting Life isn't something that I want to voluntarily live

[ijustwishtodie]

I just don't see why many people love life to begin with. It's incomprehensible to me. The majority of life is spent by slaving away to work and there's no way out of this. With the attitudes that people have regarding work and how they scrutinise those working in lower paying jobs instead of scrutinising the 1% who have more money combined than the 99%, I don't think that humanity will ever get out of it. Just why do people like doing this? I don't understand it

In my case, there's an extra layer of unhappiness as, due to my autism, I don't have a way to cope. Nothing really desires or interests me and everything is just so tiring, even when I do nothing. All I experience is fatigue, fatigue, fatigue. I don't really know what happiness is like and I don't think I ever did. I just wish to be dead as it sounds peaceful... and it always did. For me, death is just the absence of experience and that's what I want as me merely experiencing what humanity is like and what I'm like with respect to humanity is something that has made me gone insane

Being a human is incredibly difficult yet most people are proud of being human and to be alive. It feels like a never ending nightmare for me to exist as a human. I'm just scared that I exist, scared knowing that I'll have to go through life like everybody else but the suffering will be amplified due to how my neurotype isn't compatible with society. I'm just so scared and afraid... of life... of living... of being alive.

I can only hope that I get killed during an accident sometime soon because, then and only then, will I truly experience peace as my eyes permanently shut down

 

[mortuarymary]

Im not proud of being a human, because we are a terrible race. Murder, rape, starvation etc.
People bring in more of them into this world.

I take each day as it comes. That's my coping mechanism.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

I just don't see why many people love life to begin with. It's incomprehensible to me. The majority of life is spent by slaving away to work and there's no way out of this. With the attitudes that people have regarding work and how they scrutinise those working in lower paying jobs instead of scrutinising the 1% who have more money combined than the 99%, I don't think that humanity will ever get out of it. Just why do people like doing this? I don't understand it

In my case, there's an extra layer of unhappiness as, due to my autism, I don't have a way to cope. Nothing really desires or interests me and everything is just so tiring, even when I do nothing. All I experience is fatigue, fatigue, fatigue. I don't really know what happiness is like and I don't think I ever did. I just wish to be dead as it sounds peaceful... and it always did. For me, death is just the absence of experience and that's what I want as me merely experiencing what humanity is like and what I'm like with respect to humanity is something that has made me gone insane

Being a human is incredibly difficult yet most people are proud of being human and to be alive. It feels like a never ending nightmare for me to exist as a human. I'm just scared that I exist, scared knowing that I'll have to go through life like everybody else but the suffering will be amplified due to how my neurotype isn't compatible with society. I'm just so scared and afraid... of life... of living... of being alive.

I can only hope that I get killed during an accident sometime soon because, then and only then, will I truly experience peace as my eyes permanently shut down

I resonate with your thread a lot..
I guess we are all "playing" because of a lack of alternatives... Others at least can enjoy more stuff and aren't in "i used up all my positive energy and have no resources to come out"-state... And many people just haven't spend so much thought on the world i guess...

For me im also afraid that we are a big consciousness mass, and after ones body died your part of consciousness returns to the mass and eventually experiences new stuff through a new body... I really hope this is not true...
I hope my words make sense...

 

[mortuarymary]

I resonate with your thread a lot..
I guess we are all "playing" because of a lack of alternatives... Others at least can enjoy more stuff and aren't in "i used up all my positive energy and have no resources to come out"-state... And many people just haven't spend so much thought on the world i guess...

For me im also afraid that we are a big consciousness mass, and after ones body died your part of consciousness returns to the mass and eventually experiences new stuff through a new body... I really hope this is not true...
I hope my words make sense...

I hope that is true too.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I resonate with your thread a lot..
I guess we are all "playing" because of a lack of alternatives... Others at least can enjoy more stuff and aren't in "i used up all my positive energy and have no resources to come out"-state... And many people just haven't spend so much thought on the world i guess...

That's why I dislike most people. If they didn't restrict peaceful suicide methods, then there would be alternatives for us available. However, right now, we're forced to keep on living unless if we have the power and luck to succeed in killing ourselves. Either way, life is so exhausting and isn't really worth living for me. I'm glad that I will be dead one day but I wish that it could happen as early as possible so that I don't have to go through decades of this madness

For me im also afraid that we are a big consciousness mass, and after ones body died your part of consciousness returns to the mass and eventually experiences new stuff through a new body... I really hope this is not true...
I hope my words make sense...

I honestly don't and can't believe that. I believe that death is just permanent non existence, a lack of experience. Though, even if what you say were to be true, I wouldn't really mind as it'll be like a clean slate as nobody can remember their previous lives. Hence my current life would be permanently in peace and, from my perspective, that's all that matters since I wouldn't know anything about my current life during my next life

Though, I still believe that death is permanent non existence which makes me relieved. I can't wait for me to finally stop functioning and stop experiencing and just stop.. being a human

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

I hope that is true too.

I hope its not. But interesting that you are not afraid of that. I thought "god will send me back with less" resources" than the first time" and i will have to fight even harder.. But i guess thats my whole world view. Could also be to just get another chance without judging on ur "performance" the first time... Gives at least more peace of mind.
Although im a natural scientist i have this deep rooted god believe and im afraid that i do not appreciate what i was given.... Because there are always people who have it worse... In the end its all brainwashing...

 

[mortuarymary]

I hope its not. But interesting that you are not afraid of that. I thought "god will send me back with less" resources" than the first time" and i will have to fight even harder.. But i guess thats my whole world view. Could also be to just get another chance without judging on ur "performance" the first time... Gives at least more peace of mind.
Although im a natural scientist i have this deep rooted god believe and im afraid that i do not appreciate what i was given.... Because there are always people who have it worse... In the end its all brainwashing...

Knowing me I'll come back a maggot

 

[Doemu]

I resonate with your thread a lot..
I guess we are all "playing" because of a lack of alternatives... Others at least can enjoy more stuff and aren't in "i used up all my positive energy and have no resources to come out"-state... And many people just haven't spend so much thought on the world i guess...

For me im also afraid that we are a big consciousness mass, and after ones body died your part of consciousness returns to the mass and eventually experiences new stuff through a new body... I really hope this is not true...
I hope my words make sense...

Trying to find the way to avoid that is why I didn't CTB already.

 

[Dmoore3232]

Fatigue? Could be thyroid. Try adding 1 stick of butter throughout meals through the day, bad cholesterol will not increase, organic, grass fed butter though, also iodine pills for the thyroid. Sorry for trying to help as some would say on here. However when you keep saying fatigue that sounds like the thyroid.

Like if I am having chickpeas I will sometimes even melt in 2 sticks of butter. With oatmeal I will melt in 2 sticks as well. Fat lowers cortisol and increases energy. Steak and Butter Gal on Youtube got tested and her cholesterol levels did not increase, all her levels actually improved.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, in my case I'd certainly prefer to not exist regardless of the circumstances, I see nothing desirable about existing as a human who is capable of suffering endlessly in this meaningless and cruel existence. I'd always prefer the peace of an eternal sleep to slowly dying, destined for nothing but to be tormented by old age in this existence I never wished for in the first place.

I find it horrible and tragic how humans so selfishly impose existence, all they are doing is creating unnecessary suffering, pain, torment and harm, only never existing is true perfection to me. But anyway I hope that you find peace eventually.

 

[SilentSadness]

I agree, living is a constant problem for me, I hate having to suffer day after day. There's nothing for me here and I don't want my existence to drag on. Sadly, this world is too cruel to allow peace or death. It's so tiring to exist here.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I understand, in my case I'd certainly prefer to not exist regardless of the circumstances, I see nothing desirable about existing as a human who is capable of suffering endlessly in this meaningless and cruel existence. I'd always prefer the peace of an eternal sleep to slowly dying, destined for nothing but to be tormented by old age in this existence I never wished for in the first place.

Exactly. Being a human is just pure torture. I also prefer the peace of eternal sleep... it sounds so beautiful. I can't wait for me to finally not have to be a human

I find it horrible and tragic how humans so selfishly impose existence, all they are doing is creating unnecessary suffering, pain, torment and harm, only never existing is true perfection to me. But anyway I hope that you find peace eventually.

Yeah, I wish I was never born to begin with but, now that I am, I wish I died as early as possible. When I was younger and just learnt about what happens after death (as in, the truth of what happens after death and not the bullshit religious version of it), I felt envy for those who died earlier in their lives as it subsequently saved them from an entire butterfly effect of suffering and pain. I wish it could have been me, that I died instead. I never really wanted to live and I still don't because I can't cope with my life at all

I'll find my peace eventually when I'm dead and, thankfully, we're all going to die eventually and that includes me too. For now though, I gotta suffer sadly. I hope you find peace too soon