Life is scary when you have few opportunities

[Versailles]

For a disabled and autistic person, things become a little difficult. I commonly hear motivational speeches from some of my relatives about a disabled person who managed to get a good job or created a company. But, they don't realize that socialization skills play an important role in achieving such feats.

Two reasons I hate face-to-face jobs is the fact that I lack the eloquence or real-world social skills to "hook customers" and it's easier for me to just give basic information like prices and stuff. I would prefer to work in cleaning duties but in my last job, which happened to be cleaning staff, I was overexploited along with another colleague for the simple fact that after all, we were migrants. My mother also went through something similar and that's why she preferred to become a masseuse. Another reason why I hate this type of job is the fact that I frequently hear others refer to me as "the special guy", it is quite annoying when people rub in your face the fact that you will never be normal. .

It seems that it is very difficult to be a functional member of the system. And when you realize a lot of things, you end up with a feeling of fear of staying alive, even if you experience some temporary state of happiness, the future seems scary, and I think it would be better for me if I just died instantly in some accident.

 

[user56765567]

I can agree, it is scary when you have limited opportunities. I try to do cleaning jobs as well but my ocd led me to have complete mental breakdowns not to mention I was being overworked underpaid and the people were treated so poorly and disgustingly by managers and only I and a handful of others were standing our ground. Working at those cleaning places left scars I am still trying to heal from years later. I think that its very difficult to be a functional member of the system when the system doesn't help you succeed and does the exact opposite at times.