Life is really shit when you’re ugly and been isolated I can’t even feel emotions and now I know too much and can’t enjoy society

[Mtnwildflowers]

LOL I'd be happy to take that support. I know guys who have women give them credit cards or money for being good looking or attractive. I know a guy who can leave a state and easily shack up with a well off woman a few weeks later. When I say well off, I mean women who will let him live rent free for weeks or months. And he has 5 kids.

Me? I'm lucky if I get a bag of weed from a woman. The only generous woman I've truly ever met was my mom (she brought me into this terrible world, so that's debatable). Other women treat me as something to be used, either for a sexual curiosity (rare) or the good friend or more likely, a commodity that can help pay a phone bill. The older I get, the more I see the truth about the world: it's a terrible place.

Yeah, I'm playing an unhealthy amount of videogames lately. I also find myself getting high and day dreaming a lot since I broke up with my ex last year. It doesn't help that I'm 5'4, so triple edge whammy against me......short, relatively below average looks, and broke after bills. I'm shocked I haven't ran into traffic yet.

To each their own. If money and sex are the keys to your suicidality, than I hope you find solutions to those problems and can feel better .

 

[DarkRocket]

To each their own. If money and sex are the keys to your suicidality, than I hope you find solutions to those problems and can feel better .

Thanks.....time will tell. I'm simplifying the problem.....but considering the world we live in, I'm sure these things will help a lot.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Ugly guy checking in. Can confirm life is really shit.

Second. I look like chris farley and meat loaf had a baby.

 

[newave3]

This was me when I was younger.


My hair is grayer but otherwise I look the same now.

 

[LastFlowers]

Being ugly is complicated socially but that doesn't mean you can't do a lot of things.

And most of us can technically stick our limbs into active fire pits, if it's a matter of ability.
"Can" isn't the key word here.

Just like most of us can continue living, but why suffer the consequences and such a poor quality of existence? And for what? For who?

Isolation and despondency is unfortunately the lesser of two evils when it comes to several types of predicaments, this being one of them.
Those who have genuinely lived this can attest to the torment, but despite human beings and society as a whole revolving primarily around appearances and filtering their immediate and continuous perception of a person through said appearances, people just love to spit in the face of this sort of problem or reason for committing suicide.
To constantly be the butt of the joke..only for your genuine suffering that stems from that to also be seen as a joke…can't say I know of much else that checks both boxes.
People with this issue aren't even allowed to talk about the blatantly obvious, the thing that pretty much every human being contributes to and becomes a hypocrite regarding..not without being lectured out the ass by everyone and their brother, the same people who compounded and taunted such a miserable prison of flesh to begin with.
Not to mention our inherent or otherwise immutable characteristics are directly associated or synonymous with our identity (to ourselves and to others), whether we had any say in it or not..whether we like it or not.
That's a raw fucking deal for many.
(And I barely scratched the surface with this comment.)

Yeah, lookism is definitely a thing in society.

One of the most ubiquitous, damaging, pervasive and criminally undercriticized aspects of life, especially as a human (we also tend to project our biases onto other animals too, some of them even supposedly 'evolving' to better suit our visual superficiality- that, or we apparently selected for certain species to adore and care for more than others for similarly shallow reasoning).

Too bad the term sounds rather silly.
I wish there was a better word for it, it's insane to me that one of the most damning -isms has such a taboo attached to speaking openly and honestly about it, without platitudes and wishful thinking.
I can find more spaces willing to speak on the right to die than this topic.
(And even more places to converse about legitimately unsavory things.)
I've spoken at length about the possibilities of why this might be, along with the issue itself, elsewhere and at other times on this site, but it's exhausting to repeat myself..and expand endlessly on the general subject of something that should go without saying.
Feels like fighting to acknowledge that water is wet, to an entire planet who knows that but just doesn't want to talk about it.

One reason for why there may be no ongoing safe spaces that I will repeat though, is that being physically unattractive is so detrimental and so unhealthy to experience, that even those who know deep down they are, don't always want to admit it or actively identify themselves that way…it's just that awful and feels that bad. It's something that constantly demands an escape from itself..but there is none, besides trying to lie to oneself.
So there's no community of support to back people up against the avalanche of complex shit, most are on their own unless they're somehow surrounded by those who suffer the same fate irl and have the same desire to openly lament about it and have self compassion for their own justifiable anger/misery.
(The same society that makes people feel bad for looking a certain way, will also rebuke them for reacting to the mistreatment and ostracism, etc. Extreme compartmentalization and compensation becomes mandatory, an unfortunate expectation on top of the already horrible situation.)

 

[Ineedtodie]

I' m not realy ugly. Maybe if I' m dorky or akward whatever judgemental term people would use. If that's ugly then i' m ugly. Anyhow I have body image issues for sure and it became mental. Since Long time ago, that and other builtup mentals as well. With some other factors I ended up isolated. Trueth be told i' m not attractive. And I have big emotional baggage due to traumas or life ir whatever Made me even more akward, disliked. So label are not important anymore. Now I'. Just very disliked and rejected. This is .
I have to stay put for now and on meds. That's people advice to me. Sometime I hear people they never witnessed someone as akward and tense as me. One of kind they say. Or if they don't bother they would say mentally . Well in a derogatory way of course. From my pov what bothers me.. well I' m sad dare to say choronicly about alot of things I lost. I lost my dignity nd more. Nd its wierd to say that isolation and chronic stresss and emotional overload is what's debilitating me the most. I' m just sad and my anger is useless is uch circumstances, lost a lot of free will. I' m stuck and on the edge. My life is wierd. Such a joke. All means I lost so much nd suffering horribly. Society is cruel and unforgiving.. well toward such persons. They are resetful toward us and unvalidated. Whaterver. Life let me down and now I ' m letting myself . My thoughts are unclear. And emotions are very intense.
Edit: I' m simp too. Weak personality. Combinations. Like I' m begging for people to dislike me.

 

[LastFlowers]

I'm a pretty attractive young woman and most of my boyfriends have been....not attractive.
What mattered to me was their intelligence and more importantly, how we meshed. If you click with someone, that likely changes how you see them. I also admired qualities in them.
On the flip side, even though I'm attractive and have an elegant physique and face, I am a mess, bipolar all. So since my body language, behavior, and general representation reflects my inner state, I seem a lot less attractive than I am.
If I was confident and had all the qualities a wished I did, I think I would be more comparable to Grace Kelly (a compliment I received from a stranger before I opened my mouth lol)

What nature gives us isn't fair, but it can be worked around. Easier said than done, but if you are able to be confident, even if it's fake, then I think you'll see people treat you differently. Especially if you do so while being kind and making others feel good. That's a huge part of winning people over.


Dale Carnegie might be some help there. And remember that the thing about confidence is no one knows if it's real or not :^)

Here we go. Always this. Every time.

The things is, nothing you said denies that being physically unattractive is a significant detriment. One which colors everything to some degree and is quite unrelenting.
This isn't about attractive people who "have problems too".
But whenever the topic comes up, that's what people who are physically attractive always seem to want to believe..in order to insert themselves into something that has nothing to do with them (fortunately for them, very fortunately).
You have provided plenty of evidence that you have absolutely no clue what this particular nightmare is like, yet you felt the need to humble brag and come into this thread to lecture those who have to endure this.
This happens every.single.time. someone brings this topic up.
Like the wealthy at a podium, life coaching the perpetually impoverished.
It's not inspirational, it's condescending and invalidating and doesn't take away the reality that will continue to cause suffering, no matter how much a person tries to exhaust themselves compensating to fight against it.

Shall I go into a thread about being a "mess" and "bipolar" and flippantly state:
"Hey guys, I am most certainly NOT any of the things you are, I am actually luckily the complete opposite [unnecessary details about privilege and inverse experience] but I do have to deal with [blank], [blank] and [blank]!
So that means your problems must not mean anything after all, right!?"

I mean, what is your point? (might as well be rhetorical at this stop in the road..)
Because I guarantee you that no amount of controllable traits, like how you display your outward personality, are going to negate the effects of your attractive appearance.
Certainly not with how you described it.
You would have to be a pretty despicable human being to even come close to that being a reality. Because people are just that incredibly superficial, whether they announce it to you or not.
It's been proven that being easy on the eyes leads to more leniency and forgiveness towards one's other faults, while also highlighting or interpreting other unrelated and averagely decent traits as exemplary.
So part of the reason you may be so comfortable with outing these other "undesirables" about yourself, is because you know they are a pittance in comparison to the desirables.
Not to mention..you apparently know what you're saying & doing wrong and can change it..but the same is nowhere near as doable or in reach to those who would have to alter their physical looks (not words or actions) to a degree that would make any legitimate difference.

Perhaps you do not care as much about the physical attractiveness of your partners (and we can really only go by what you claim) because you yourself are attractive, and would seem even more so by comparison.
(Intelligence is also a privilege btw, and the rather objective sort people refer to is also not a choice nor earned, just like looks.
You also clearly establish these boyfriends as unattractive even after supposedly coming to the conclusion that other attributes ought to change how you see them.)
And let's be honest-women know looks matter for them 'more' than most, so while both sexes are absolutely affected, it's a common observation that women tend to care more about their own appearance and men more about the appearance of the woman on their arm (if we are being heteronormative).
And that's only to speak of romantic/sexual relationships, when lookism affects far more than that. So your example doesn't cut it.
Still, even this one tendency is indicative of the whole overarching topic, it's not in opposition to it…it's just another branch with certain complexities and psychologies going on.

There's also plenty of people who lack other qualities on top of lacking good looks..it is not one or the other.
Especially since being treated as less than for so long isn't exactly conducive to the nurture of a pleasant personality (or a fruitful life).
To that point, if I'm coming across as indelicate or brusque, it's because I'm fed up and at my wits' end with the patterns of responses I see for this topic, and this topic alone.
(Please don't think you're the only one, you're most definitely not.)
It's just unnecessary and takes away from those suffering.


Not everything can nor should have to be "worked around".
(All of us on this site should know better about that much.)
You try it. Ruin your appearance permanently and see how difficult it is to feel comfortable in your own skin-to look in the mirror multiple times a day and at your numerous pictures/memories and come to terms with that being "You", reflected in the eyes of others, called by your name, immortalized in the digital age long beyond your natural life..
never mind trying to make everyone else feel comfortable and see anything besides what meets the eye…if they even let you get so far as to make such an attempt.
Some appearances open doors, others close them..before you can even so much as say or do a thing.

Confidence does not come out of thin air.
Contrary to popular belief, it is not something you can just call into being.
The real deal is a natural development or culmination of having other traits (most often, inborn) and securities in place.
And why should we have to be fake?
That is utterly exhausting..to people please the very people who treated us like actual garbage and third class citizens, both overtly and covertly.
Been there, done that, as many of us have.
It only enables people to sustain the expectation of us being a doormat or a comedian or anything to "apologize" for our appearance.
I'm not here to be a blood bag to keep others' cheeks flush, keep them feeling bright and merry while I'm run ragged like a maid tending to the fortune of others.
You can only give what you get.
Why is the burden on the unattractive to "win people over"..??
That is part of the problem with this bigger picture..the burden for change is being put on the wrong set of shoulders.

What nature gives us is not fair, you're right..but that doesn't mean we should just accept that fact in the sense of letting it guide us to further agreement with it.
And not all situations that nature offers are equal, interchangeable nor comparable.
Not at all.

 

[LucyB]

This is why being ugly is horrible because it forces you to stay glued to tech without social interaction

Everyone here is ugly. Have you seen the characters they call the president?