Venting Life is a burden for me

[Painless_end]

To be honest with everyone, I have been on this site since 2020, and I can't bring myself to end my life. I am too much of a coward about it.

Nevertheless, because of some kind of neurological issues that I suffer from, I cannot make progress in my life. I dislike all productive things, and earlier I used to distract myself with thoughts of rich food or sex (masturbation since I am single) but I have lost interest in those things, as they are nothing but shallow and temporary distractions.

I am deeply unhappy that I have to exist because I reached a state of persistent unending mental fatigue and complete loss of interest in life back in 2013 and I actually had to quit my job and sit at home for 2 years to recover. This is because the parts of human brain responsible for self motivation and direction towards productive output in society and the workplace have never evolved in my mind since childhood.

I am not interested in anything and everything seems like a burden. But very sadly, I can't even give myself the release that comes with death.

What a terrible existence. And no, it doesn't get better for me everyday, it only gets worse.

If any entity in the universe is listening, I want to repeat my desire to die painlessly and instantly.

 

[jodes2]

Life is a trap. Sorry you're suffering

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it can be so dreadful feeling trapped in an existence that you hate that is just constant suffering. Existence is certainly a burden as we are forced into a life that we never asked for and we have to endure endless problems that can increase at any time. The truth is that some people are simply not meant for this life, and I view life as being awful in so many ways and it also can be very pointless and tedious.
Of course finally being free from this life should be easier, it doesn't mean that you are a coward feeling like you are unable to go through with it, in a world like this suicide is unfortunately so difficult. If only leaving is as easy as just wishing for peaceful death then that would be ideal.

 

[makethepainstop]

That prayer to God for relief is universal here,save for atheist among us.

 

[theboy]

I understand you
I have felt that desperation to end my life but at the same time not knowing what to do. It's feeling trapped in a life of anguish and anxiety.

 

[Snatsbats]

To be honest with everyone, I have been on this site since 2020, and I can't bring myself to end my life. I am too much of a coward about it.

Nevertheless, because of some kind of neurological issues that I suffer from, I cannot make progress in my life. I dislike all productive things, and earlier I used to distract myself with thoughts of rich food or sex (masturbation since I am single) but I have lost interest in those things, as they are nothing but shallow and temporary distractions.

I am deeply unhappy that I have to exist because I reached a state of persistent unending mental fatigue and complete loss of interest in life back in 2013 and I actually had to quit my job and sit at home for 2 years to recover. This is because the parts of human brain responsible for self motivation and direction towards productive output in society and the workplace have never evolved in my mind since childhood.

I am not interested in anything and everything seems like a burden. But very sadly, I can't even give myself the release that comes with death.

What a terrible existence. And no, it doesn't get better for me everyday, it only gets worse.

If any entity in the universe is listening, I want to repeat my desire to die painlessly and instantly.

Sounds like you got AD(H)D. I have ADD so im not hyperactive, but i know what you mean by not being motivated by anything. Nothing gives a reward worth fighting for anymore. Why should i put in effort if im not going to feel happy about the succes that i will get.

 

[redeyepiranha]

I totally agree and understand you, nothing brings me joy anymore, everything feels pointless and futile, I don't want anything, I get drained by any activity, just give me sweet nonexistence. I hope you find peace in whatever you choose.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I sympathise with your struggle. Life can feel so weary can't it? Plus, it's that awful vicious circle where you know it won't improve if you don't make the effort to change it but you neither have the strength or will or belief to do that- which tends to make you even more depressed and lethargic and so it goes on. I'm sorry. I feel in a similar trap.