Letting time pass is horrible

[tercermundista]

Every day I spend without CTB is worse than the last. Nothing ever improves, and I'm afraid I'll go crazy and end my life violently because I don't have the balls to do it right now.

Is anyone else in the same situation?

 

[TurboCharcha]

I'm with you on every day being worse than the last and on nothing ever improving.

I guess I wouldn't end my life violently or recklessly, but I understand the desperation that could lead to that.

 

[tercermundista]

I'm with you on every day being worse than the last and on nothing ever improving.

I guess I wouldn't end my life violently or recklessly, but I understand the desperation that could lead to that.

I've been in this situation for over 10 years and today I'm particularly angry, sad and tired... I should have committed suicide a long time ago.

 

[TurboCharcha]

I've been in this situation for over 10 years and today I'm particularly angry, sad and tired... I should have committed suicide a long time ago.

I understand that completely. I think many people would be dead if suicide were easy.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Yeah it's like the Office Space bit in the hypnotists office where he says every day is the worst day of his life and all the guy can say is "wow that's messed up".

I try and take the approach of being a "witness" and put my life in order. I'm not in the choir about "why won't big daddy government allow me euthanasia?". Seneca's letter 70 helped me with that. If or when the time comes, even a painful yet relatively brief end wouldn't be too hard to reckon with given the alternative.