Story less than 2 months.

[bunny_brownie9]

fuck this sucks. I saw my dr today and things 'appear more positive' and with bipolar I can't tell if they're actually more 'positive' or just feeling more relief at the thought of eternal peace. I have a holiday booked very very soon which most likely gives the illusion of positivity. I am tired. I don't even know anymore. It's coming up to 3 years since my mum died from addiction and that doesn't help my mental state whatsoever.

I've been given propanolol because my anxiety is so awful. People have previously pointed out that I'm shaking/drop things too much.

 

[EternalShore]

The thought of eternal peace does calm one down quite a lot, yes~ :)
Living with grief and knowledge that someone you loved and cared about is awful tho~ :( I'm truly sorry for you loss :(
well, at least, distractions are nice as long as we are still here~ even if only temporary, at least, it lets one finally have some enjoyment in their life again~
I wish you the best with it all!

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

 

[bunny_brownie9]

The thought of eternal peace does calm one down quite a lot, yes~ :)
Living with grief and knowledge that someone you loved and cared about is awful tho~ :( I'm truly sorry for you loss :(
well, at least, distractions are nice as long as we are still here~ even if only temporary, at least, it lets one finally have some enjoyment in their life again~
I wish you the best with it all!

I appreciate that, but it wasn't really a loss. She was a violent alcoholic narcissist and made me who I am today and contributed significantly to why I can't do this anymore. I am left with crippling debilitating CPTSD because of her & what she did & caused (obviously other things too). I appreciate the kind words though :)

I understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

thank you
how can I do another 8 weeks? I want to be at peace where nothing can hurt me anymore. Everything will be quiet and safe