Leftism and Wanting To CTB

[lemonandcapers]

Leftists of SaSu, is being a leftist part of the reason you want to CTB?

Genuinely, right now, being a leftist is a part of the reason why I want to CTB. I feel like I'm too mentally weak to be a leftist despite it generally being where I fall.

The idea of having to organize and form community with people as insufferable as other leftists… I mean I know we all can't be in peace and harmony like in a kid's book, but I can't do it. There is so much infighting and pointless arguments. There are some that say that having your views challenged and being uncomfortable is an important part of progress, but I feel physically ill when I receive criticism from others. I have tried so hard to make it so I don't, but I just can't.

I try to be their version of perfect, but I feel like an imposter. I don't know who I am, I am just a sum of the values of those around me.

A part of this may just be my morality OCD talking, but if this is what it takes to create the perfect society that leftists want, I don't think I'm cut out for the work. I know damn sure that if they find me out and that I am more of a normie than they want me to be, I will be shunned.

 

[Mr. Snrub]

Man competitive leftism could be an Olympic sport going by the amount of these threads. I've heard the saying "the left eat their own" I guess I didn't know how true it was.

I do see it sometmes within my own friend group though, getting pounced for any kind of perceived "wrongthink". I tend to take it in my stride these days. I know I'm not perfect and I'm not bothered about trying to be.

 

[martyrdom]

Not in the way you mean, but I do want to CTB because of something that happened to me as a result of my activism, ie. punitive consequences by the government.

As for the rest of what you're saying, leftism is really, really broad, and varies a lot by country. I can't relate to or identify much in what western and primarily American leftists say and believe aside from some basic common values. It's very foreign to me, I'm fluent in English but don't even recognize a lot of their language. Then you get into which ideology of leftism specifically, socialism? Anarchism? Communism?

I empathise with you and I imagine you're from the west because the punishment for wrongthink and insufferable attitude I've seen mostly in western leftists, or at least those who haven't really read any theory. My local community was great though, and infighting was not much of an issue, nor did we police thoughts and words the same way I often see in American (at least online) leftist spaces. So I believe it's definitely possible to find something that isn't horrible in terms of that.

 

[frightful-venison]

Sometimes it's about finding the right people/community. There are a lot of people who are into it because of optics and not because they actually give a shit. Also, a lot of leftists will try and make you believe that you have to bear as much responsibility for society as possible, but you dont. It doesnt always have to be your job to organize and advocate. You can just be.

 

[Lady_V]

Being a leftist woman from an immigrant family is like the main thing that keeps me going. My existence makes so many people pissed here in the US. It makes me feel good.
As for the bigger leftist community, I do not interact with them because they are actually chaotic and awful. Hoping one day they drop the wokescold culture.

 

[U. A.]

​

I have learned the hard way that a vanishingly small number of people actually live their values and actually have and not just perform/proselytize those values to begin with. Add that to the strain of modern life under the current system(s) grinding us down leads to a lot of bullshit.

Regardless of political alignment, people are fucking assholes and/or just can't get along. Think of MTG and Trump's recent falling out.

 

[lemonandcapers]

Being a leftist woman from an immigrant family is like the main thing that keeps me going. My existence makes so many people pissed here in the US. It makes me feel good.
As for the bigger leftist community, I do not interact with them because they are actually chaotic and awful. Hoping one day they drop the wokescold culture.

That's awesome! I am also a leftist woman from an immigrant family, so I definitely understand how it feels like to piss people off lol

 

[compulsoryaliveness]

Yes.

I tried to post about this elsewhere, but it wasn't really understood. To be honest, some responses just felt like more of the same... leftists getting ridiculously defensive, and assuming that being critical and leaving the cultural norms is somehow the same as abandoning your principles. It isn't.

I genuinely believe in leftist values (the more extreme anarchist kind, not reform, especially not reform of Western nation states), and devoting my entire life to organising blinded me from some really unfortunate truths about the social worlds I've spent my life in.

The more I've aged, the more confronting the social shit has been. It just feels so obvious to me now that most people are not interested in radical change. They are much more interested in social inclusion. This is actually terrifying to me.

I will always prefer to stay in reality, in my values, and experience social exclusion, even if it means I will literally kill myself.

This world is inherently oppressive, especially to those outside of the west, and I don't want to participate in reforming the most privileged parts of it. I don't want to be involved in anything that is about positive social change anymore, largely because I have such a low amount of trust in other Western leftists, including why they are organising, and what they would do if mainstream values shifted.

I also wonder about moral OCD. It's come up a lot for me with my own CTB plan. The lengths I have gone to to try to "ethically" kill myself are definitely outside the norm.

 

[Pessimist]

Being a leftist woman from an immigrant family is like the main thing that keeps me going. My existence makes so many people pissed here in the US. It makes me feel good.
As for the bigger leftist community, I do not interact with them because they are actually chaotic and awful. Hoping one day they drop the wokescold culture.

The far-left is genuinely hateful.

 

[Pg.964]

So, I do not know what country you are from. If its the USA, its true there will not be a revolution and free healthcare is a carrot on a stick that makes dems and leftists who unfortunately still believe in electoralism, vote for the fascists in blue.
Personaly reading theory has helped me understand so much about not only the world but also myself. Even if you feel too hopeless to do any praxis. You still hold the empathetic positions. You understand the concept of class consciousness.
My suggestion, take a break, log off for a day. Ive met amazing and kind lestists throughout my life. I promise twitter doesn't reflect the movement. Be kind to yourself, educate yourself on past revolutions and how they implemented the socialist transition afterwards and become somebody that can withstand the brutality of whatever oppressive government you may live under.
You're on the right side of history, do what you can no matter how small your contribution is. Chin up. Educate, agitate, and organize.