Venting Late Night Longing (random thoughts)

[ma0]

I should probably go to bed at some point soon, but fuck that. I gave up on taking care of myself ages ago.

God, I swear it's only when it's really late that it truly starts to set in how utterly insignificant I am. So what if I made a tiny ripple in a few people's lives? The moment I stop talking to them they'll forget I ever existed, it's happened before.

I could so totally do it tonight, the conditions are perfect, but I'm just not for whatever reason. I can't bring myself to do it, not yet anyway.

I often mutter completely random things to myself for seemingly no reason, and half the time I don't actually mean it. I wonder what's up with that.

I wish I had someone to talk to right now, but at the same time I really don't. Is that odd? How does that even work? I don't know myself...

I ended up sharing my pro-choice stance to a few people a couple days ago. I don't actually remember how the conversation steered towards that, but now some of my best friends hate me now. I can understand if they felt a bit uncomfortable, admittedly, that is my fault, but to cut contact almost entirely? Is me having this opinion really that bad? One friend actually sided with me though, which was a surprise to be sure.


Sorry about this thread, I've just been thinking about a lot lately, and felt the need to write down my incoherent ramblings somewhere.

 

[Slark]

I have also faced problems when talking about suicide with people close to me, unfortunately it is difficult to find someone who understands this issue. If you need to talk, I can listen to you. I hope you are well

 

[yehxlder.666]

Yeah, a lot of people are ignorant and intolerant in this world, but that doesn't mean its your fault or has something to do with you. Maybe they even have their reasons. You should take better care of yourself, instead of caring that much about people who dont do the same for you. You're not insignificant, you have your own opinion and it should be respected. Hope you're doing okay.

 

[ma0]

I have also faced problems when talking about suicide with people close to me, unfortunately it is difficult to find someone who understands this issue. If you need to talk, I can listen to you. I hope you are well

Thank you, but I don't think there's much for me to talk about that I've not mentioned already, besides some very surface level stuff.

 

[cme-dme]

I wish I had someone to talk to right now, but at the same time I really don't. Is that odd? How does that even work? I don't know myself...

I feel this way often. I want people to talk to me and give me attention but other times I just wish everyone I cared about left me to be forever alone. I don't understand these feelings either, It's strange.

I ended up sharing my pro-choice stance to a few people a couple days ago. I don't actually remember how the conversation steered towards that, but now some of my best friends hate me now. I can understand if they felt a bit uncomfortable, admittedly, that is my fault, but to cut contact almost entirely? Is me having this opinion really that bad? One friend actually sided with me though, which was a surprise to be sure.

I'm sorry your friends are like that...I will probably end up expressing my pro-choice viewpoint at some point as well. It's hard to get other people to think this way; It goes against some of the most fundamental parts of human society and to some extent our natural instincts. You have to be especially open-minded for it. If your friends are willing to abandon you over a simple disagreement, were they really your friends to begin with? I feel like it says more about them than it does you.