Venting Last year here

[Nortu]

2 months left until I can get out of this house. And probably max 4 months after that hopefully I can go. It just needs to be enough time for my schoolmate to find friends in the new city. So when I'm sure they're doing alright I'll cook up some food with my wolfsbane. I know the taste is bitter so that's why. I'll get my hands on some of it this summer and dry it up for later use.

Read up all I can on the symptoms and how long it usually takes for people to die. So I'm guessing max 5-6 hours though some die after 2-3 which I'm hoping for. Sure it'll be painful but at least it's difficult for anyone to change it once it's done. Loosing lung functioning I'm hoping comes after and not during. I already have a pretty high resting pulse so if I'm lucky it'll rise and cause a heart attack. Upfront I won't really eat anything so there is less to metabolise and the effects could come quicker.
Before that again I need to see if I can find some sleeping pills or painkillers strong enough to ease the pain some more.

It's a bit scary going out like this but I don't much of a choice. It's difficult to get ahold of anything more effective here with all the restrictions present.
At least I've started to get everything assembled to likely get out of this place. I'm halfway done with my subjects exams and after that it's just waiting for a result to move out. Im growing impatient, I can't think of anything else now. I just want this to be over

 

[Dainhla]

I don't know what has pushed you to this point of life, but I wish you the best. Life is not always fair, I know that well enough....
If that's your ultimate decision, I hope you can leave this world behind without too much pain. Best wishes

 

[Praestat_Mori]

The way you chose for CTB sounds painful and horrible. Nobody, who wishes to exit this life, deserves that. I don't know which country you live in, but have you thought about the CO method using charcoal? This should be available everywhere without restrictions. I wish you all the best!

 

[FuneralCry]

I really do find it so horrible how we exist in a world where people are so cruelly denied access to more painful and reliable ways to die, but anyway I wish you the best with your plans and I hope that you find freedom from all suffering.

 

[Nortu]

The way you chose for CTB sounds painful and horrible. Nobody, who wishes to exit this life, deserves that. I don't know which country you live in, but have you thought about the CO method using charcoal? This should be available everywhere without restrictions. I wish you all the best!

That would be a better option too. It's just a problem living in a dorm since it could leak out and cause the others damage. I know people have done it in tents but it seems very mixed if it works or not. People here are pretty hiking happy so there is a chance to be found way before.
But then again, I could try to read up more on it until I take action, thanks for the suggestion though :]