I have been planning this specific attempt for 2 months now and it's pretty simple. I drive out to an empty parking lot in the middle of the night and then give the barrel of the my rifle a bj until it came bullets in my mouth. So last night after hanging out with my only irl friend I head home, wrote my note and then packed my rifle and then set my self up. But I just can't pull the trigger. I even tried just getting used to pulling the trigger with the gun in my mouth with the safety on and even dry firing it. But when it's loaded and the safety is off and I just can't bring myself to pull the trigger hard enough to fire.
I just want my suffering to end I'm ready to ctb, but when all I have to do is pull a trigger I just can't.
I just want my suffering to end I'm ready to ctb, but when all I have to do is pull a trigger I just can't.
