Lack of interaction makes me feel actively suicidal

[terrrrrrragon]

I have genuinely lost any self worth. I have absolutely nothing to support my worth as a human being whatsoever.


I consider every single person that reads my posts (here or elsewhere) and doesn't interact in any way, doesn't follow, doesn't send a DM an enemy and someone that pushes me deeper into the grave.

I hate feeling pathetic, unpopular and unloved, because I was always a horrible human being that labeled people as either cool or lame, and if I ever dated beg for attention that instantly makes me lame.

I'm eternally stuck in the highschool mindset and if I don't manage to get a following or at least find a friend group where I feel liked, I'm going to keep getting worse and probably go out in a very violent and public way. I'm aware I'm a huge narcissist, it's no one's fault specifically but a combination of factors, and yet despite that I want anyone even slightly more fortunate than me to carry even a fraction of what I feel as a friendless person.

If you read this and don't want to respond, cool. In all honesty, I hate you. I don't know you, but I want you to feel the pain I'm feeling now. Especially if you yourself have friends. I would give everything to be in your place.

I just want engagement. I want to feel like I matter. Like I belong. I don't care from who, where, why. I want to see numbers, words, affirmation, hell, I'd be fine with someone sending slurs or harassment my way; at least it's something.

If this gets buried, then honestly there's no point and I'll just go off and get myself banned because fuck life fuck everyone. You proved to me that I am a repellent person that should be quietly put down

 

[AstralMadness]

I understand how you feel, we all want a place to belong to and people to matter to. That's one of the most valuable things in life tbh

 

[Tautochrome]

But we love you

 

[kuroshimi]

After all, we all need to interact with people and try to find yourself in any way. I can relate to you. I myself seek communication with people to distract myself, despite the fact that i'm unsociable. You always need an outside perspective ig.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Interesting.

 

[leloyon]

same tbh

 

[ih34rty0u]

this is so real, i think like my life only matters if other people make it seem important. im nothing without them.

 

[eternityfangyuan]

I have genuinely lost any self worth. I have absolutely nothing to support my worth as a human being whatsoever.


I consider every single person that reads my posts (here or elsewhere) and doesn't interact in any way, doesn't follow, doesn't send a DM an enemy and someone that pushes me deeper into the grave.

I hate feeling pathetic, unpopular and unloved, because I was always a horrible human being that labeled people as either cool or lame, and if I ever dated beg for attention that instantly makes me lame.

I'm eternally stuck in the highschool mindset and if I don't manage to get a following or at least find a friend group where I feel liked, I'm going to keep getting worse and probably go out in a very violent and public way. I'm aware I'm a huge narcissist, it's no one's fault specifically but a combination of factors, and yet despite that I want anyone even slightly more fortunate than me to carry even a fraction of what I feel as a friendless person.

If you read this and don't want to respond, cool. In all honesty, I hate you. I don't know you, but I want you to feel the pain I'm feeling now. Especially if you yourself have friends. I would give everything to be in your place.

I just want engagement. I want to feel like I matter. Like I belong. I don't care from who, where, why. I want to see numbers, words, affirmation, hell, I'd be fine with someone sending slurs or harassment my way; at least it's something.

If this gets buried, then honestly there's no point and I'll just go off and get myself banned because fuck life fuck everyone. You proved to me that I am a repellent person that should be quietly put down

Im here if you want someone to talk too

 

[LastNite]

I force myself out to interact with people sometimes. It's not a big mood changer but I get what it's like. Human connection is valuable but friendship is more valuable because it lasts. I personally dont got any friends irl or online. It's a brutal life.