Labeling my suicidal thoughts as intrusive?

[Mynameisnotimportant]

I've gone back to therapy and I've had (non serious) suicidal thoughts almost daily since 2018. I've been doing a lot of reflecting and it's been less serious and more a reaction to a sudden spike in stress levels rather than a rational thought pattern for the last 3ish years.

It's so hard that "I have to tell this customer that their dog groom is going to be $10 more because I spent half an hour dematting" turns into "just fucking kys"

these thoughts don't last more than a minute but it's kinda crazy I'm still having fallout from a only year long serious depression. I have no OCD behaviors and thoughts other than my brain thinking stress=sui thoughts

 

[roommate]

I have these aswell in very relatable way, tbh its the best to maybe label them and try to ignore them.
Intrusions are supposed to be just intrusions.. but yeah annoying as hell are they.

Maybe get professional help if you can.

 

[trying ungracefully]

I get you. My suicidal thoughts are mostly gone but I get the impulsive thought sometimes when something goes wrong because it's easier to give up than to keep pushing. When I'm depressed it's hard to keep pushing even if I'm not actively suicidal.

 

[vitbar]

It's the same for me. Responding to stress with kys is a kind of coping mechanism from the depressed times. I think time, labeling, and acceptance will either reduce instances or diminish the impact when they happen.

If you can try and avoid engaging with it beyond the in the moment labeling and feelings. Dwelling on it, searching for answers, stressing that it happens, and similar will only label these thoughts as important and propagate them.

 

[Bxtra]

I give my 'brain voice' a name. It helps me label the thought as intrusive. Kinda like how I'd react to someone else telling me to kms. "You didn't vacuum today? Lazy ass kys" "Patricia knock it off. I can do it tomorrow and that's really rude of you to say". It's kinda silly lol