Kundalini Awakening

[tupacshakur987123]

Anyone here suicidal because of a kundalini or spiritual awakening that didn't go so smoothly ?

 

[Snake of Eden]

Not me. Are you?

 

[Silenos]

I heard those things can be rough, but goddamn. I can't say I relate as I never had an actual awakening. I did have a fun introduction to spirituality through a haunting and a demonic entity attaching itself to me though.

I'm interested in your story, if you feel like sharing.

 

[hopelessgirl]

Sometimes I wonder if that's what I'm going through

 

[Sister of the Moon]

Yes kind of. I wouldn't say it's the primary reason but then again I never really thought of it like that. I am deeply spiritual, non-religious. I think part of the awakening process is being able to see the world and the souls in it exactly as it is, which means the rawness of the evil in the world can be overwhelming. I would like to hear about your experiences if you want to share.

 

[Pluto]

Spiritual awakening via self-inquiry is 100% safe, though may be a slow process.

Psychedelic and kindalini can be dramatic or risky. I would like to hear your story too.

 

[tupacshakur987123]

Yeah my awakening journey started around 2015-16. I was born and raised Muslim so for the first 25 years of my life I was pretty grounded to my faith and worldview. Playing basketball and lifting weights was my passion so I was pretty grounded in some sort of masculine action. In 2015 I got introduced to meditation and float tanks and general self development. Part of the self development was being introduced to cold approach pickup and dating advice. At the time I wanted to get better with girls. I discovered a company called Real Social Dynamics on YouTube led by a dude named Owen Cook. Listening to Owen Cook over the years is part of the reason that gave me the awakening I think, as this dude was spitting one truth after another and completely breaking my old Islamic worldview and narrative. I ended up learning a lot about evolution by natural selection and male/female dynamics which kind of put me into an existential crisis. The real awakening didnt happen until summer of 2016 when I stumbled across an article of declacifying your pineal gland/third eye. When I followed the steps to do that (mainly changed in diet and supplements) sure enough I felt all my "energy" or "soul" rush to my head and ever since then I've had this cracking sensation in the back/middle part of my brain. Lots of things change for me, I didn't feel like my masculine self anymore lost motivation for hard workouts as an example. I was more in my feminine, allowing life to unfold naturally vs taking life by the horns. I also became way more of an empath and would cry easily over joy or sadness. Felt the weight of the world on my shoulders too. For the most part it was manageable until mid 2019 when my first suicidal thoughts kicked in. This is because I tried almost everything between 2016-2019 to become grounded in my body again and solve this sensitive nervous system I had (aside from crying, I also struggled with hardcore premature ejaculation which affected my psyche greatly). Even between 2019 and 2020 I was able to manage symptoms but when COVID hit, all hell broke loose and the crackling sensation in the back of my brain calcified in a way to where I have been in constant pain since then and now I see no way out at all other than CTBing, even with CTBing sometimes i fear what if this shit follows me into the afterlife.

The guy that posted the demon attachment I would like to hear your story. Sometimes I wonder if that's what I have, I have easy access to N, I'm just so fucking scared of what's to come after this life. I hope it's either nothingness or pure heaven for all. I can't even fathom the alternative.

 

[WonderingSoul]

Yes. It's strange, but it's one of the reasons I plan to CTB

 

[Snake of Eden]

Its better to go through life blind of the painful truths of the world

 

[Ligottian]

The writer Thomas Ligotti apparently had a bad acid trip in which be saw the horrible darkness of Being. No hippy dippy sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.

 

[Insomniac]

it can be one way to put it

 

[forgotten15]

Its better to go through life blind of the painful truths of the world

Yeah, saves us from a lot of suffering

 

[171S]

I once tried meditation when under stress at night and I think since then Ive had constant pain from the nerves inside my nose. For some reason, I think related to my brain, the nasal tissues inside my nose got enlarged and have been pressing the nasal space around so much it hurts a lot. I have not found a way to make them smaller or hurt less. This is the main reason I want to ctb. I cant't find enough meaning that would counter the constant pain.

 

[wanttogetonthebus]

Its better to go through life blind of the painful truths of the world

Agreed. This is when I was at my happiest.
I feel like this article might be relevant to the discussions in this thread. It's quite... sad.

'She didn't know what was real': Did 10-day meditation retreat trigger woman's suicide?

Instead of emerging from a meditation course enlightened, Megan Vogt exited incoherent, suicidal and in psychosis. Vogt later jumped from the Norman Wood Bridge.

www.pennlive.com

 

[Pluto]

even with CTBing sometimes i fear what if this shit follows me into the afterlife.

Physical pain will not follow you into the afterlife. It belongs to the Earthly body. The undesirable 'earthbound' condition is caused by having too many worldly addictions or attachments, and an unwillingness to go to the light. Thankfully, experiences of hell are uncommon and ultimately caused by the individual's state of mind.

The majority of NDEs - both suicide NDEs and those caused by illness/accidents - involve the individual being told 'your work is not complete, you have to go back'. Some sources (such as the Neale Donald Walsch book Home with God) indicate that afterlife itself is not the issue, but the inevitability of eventually going back into a similarly troubled human lifetime, or even being reborn back in time in the same lifetime and facing the same traumas again with the intention of conquering them or learning the lessons this time. This to me is worse than any fire and brimstone.

That said, I have pushed on through years of severe isolation, hardship, mental illness and depression waiting for some meaningful purpose to arise, but my resolve has been weakening.

The Universe
For those wondering what the 'lesson' is, we have to start with a crash course on the universe. I'll try and summarise. Firstly, it is a virtual reality and is not real. A genuine spiritual awakening (which I have not had) is a state of seeing this clearly and permanently, knowing one's Self to be eternal and all the trouble of the 'little me' person to be an illusion.

Everything/everyone in heaven and on Earth comes from a single source. A single light projected onto a mirror ball gives the impression of countless sparkles of coloured light. Or different waves on the ocean can be pointed to even though there's only the one ocean. That sort of thing.

Delusion vs. Truth
In short, when people buy into the appearance of being separate, atrocities result. For example, genocide is caused by people dividing the human race into imaginary castes and seeking to destroy the other. Our ecological crises are caused by man thinking himself separate from nature and attacking his own planet for egocentric, short-term gains. The human species is particularly primitive, in fact, making this world a hardcore boot camp, particularly for those of us with less-than-sheltered life stories.

However, merely being a kind-hearted person who refuses to descend to cruelty is only a stepping stone, as it still involves the sense of individuality (though still very advanced by human standards). Over lifetimes in which we may play all sorts of roles, what ultimately happens is a surrendering of personal pride and the sense of individuality to transcend the ego entirely. After ego death, life superficially goes on but the mind tends to be serene, there are no attachments and life unfolds with playful spontaneity rather than fearful planning.

As much as I am a critic of Christianity, the original teachings of Jesus are good examples of the perspective of someone who has fully mastered this process. (Eg. love thy neighbour, I and the father are one, etc.) Thankfully there are many other masters whose work has not been turned into divisive cults, such as Ramana Maharshi or Eckhart Tolle.

What it means for us?
I don't know. Each person is said to have inner guidance if the noise of the mind is kept at bay. The universe also communicates with us. For example, just a couple of days ago I was thinking about how if I had a financial windfall, I would put CTB aside and attempt a recovery. Moments later I got a phone call from my manager informing me of a major pay rise! I can't say I'm happy about it as I don't really know what to do, and I have experienced states of distress and pain this year that I flat-out refuse to live with long-term. But I feel obliged to try and see what 'they' want from me.

I may attempt some sort of recovery if I am to be given a genuine purpose involving helping others, having a reasonable lifestyle including someone to love, etc. or at least having an awakening so profound that I can bliss out in my bedroom until this body dies, but I am keeping my N very safe and won't be shy about using it if there is no meaningful change.

I hope all this helps you in some way.

I feel like this article might be relevant to the discussions in this thread. It's quite... sad.

Thank you for sharing this.

People disoriented by spiritual experiences going to psych wards is unfortunately a fairly common occurrence. They will often be mis-diagnosed with bipolar or something. The system does not know how to handle them because the patient is in a more advanced state than the doctor!

Extreme meditation with no guidance from someone in a liberated state is not a good idea. Insights like the world being a projection are legitimate, but guidance is needed to actually integrate this into practical life. A true master would not advocate this approach.

The real tragedy is that there is so much incompetence at every level. Religions are incompetent at providing spiritual guidance because they are trying to sell the idea that they are 'The True Religion (tm)'. Science hasn't even begun to acknowledge basics like the afterlife being real despite overwhelming evidence to anyone who has done open-minded research. A basic understanding of the nature of life, like what we are talking about here, is so rare. So it is no wonder there is so much trouble.

 

[tupacshakur987123]

Physical pain will not follow you into the afterlife. It belongs to the Earthly body. The undesirable 'earthbound' condition is caused by having too many worldly addictions or attachments, and an unwillingness to go to the light. Thankfully, experiences of hell are uncommon and ultimately caused by the individual's state of mind.

The majority of NDEs - both suicide NDEs and those caused by illness/accidents - involve the individual being told 'your work is not complete, you have to go back'. Some sources (such as the Neale Donald Walsch book Home with God) indicate that afterlife itself is not the issue, but the inevitability of eventually going back into a similarly troubled human lifetime, or even being reborn back in time in the same lifetime and facing the same traumas again with the intention of conquering them or learning the lessons this time. This to me is worse than any fire and brimstone.

That said, I have pushed on through years of severe isolation, hardship, mental illness and depression waiting for some meaningful purpose to arise, but my resolve has been weakening.

The Universe
For those wondering what the 'lesson' is, we have to start with a crash course on the universe. I'll try and summarise. Firstly, it is a virtual reality and is not real. A genuine spiritual awakening (which I have not had) is a state of seeing this clearly and permanently, knowing one's Self to be eternal and all the trouble of the 'little me' person to be an illusion.

Everything/everyone in heaven and on Earth comes from a single source. A single light projected onto a mirror ball gives the impression of countless sparkles of coloured light. Or different waves on the ocean can be pointed to even though there's only the one ocean. That sort of thing.

Delusion vs. Truth
In short, when people buy into the appearance of being separate, atrocities result. For example, genocide is caused by people dividing the human race into imaginary castes and seeking to destroy the other. Our ecological crises are caused by man thinking himself separate from nature and attacking his own planet for egocentric, short-term gains. The human species is particularly primitive, in fact, making this world a hardcore boot camp, particularly for those of us with less-than-sheltered life stories.

However, merely being a kind-hearted person who refuses to descend to cruelty is only a stepping stone, as it still involves the sense of individuality (though still very advanced by human standards). Over lifetimes in which we may play all sorts of roles, what ultimately happens is a surrendering of personal pride and the sense of individuality to transcend the ego entirely. After ego death, life superficially goes on but the mind tends to be serene, there are no attachments and life unfolds with playful spontaneity rather than fearful planning.

As much as I am a critic of Christianity, the original teachings of Jesus are good examples of the perspective of someone who has fully mastered this process. (Eg. love thy neighbour, I and the father are one, etc.) Thankfully there are many other masters whose work has not been turned into divisive cults, such as Ramana Maharshi or Eckhart Tolle.

What it means for us?
I don't know. Each person is said to have inner guidance if the noise of the mind is kept at bay. The universe also communicates with us. For example, just a couple of days ago I was thinking about how if I had a financial windfall, I would put CTB aside and attempt a recovery. Moments later I got a phone call from my manager informing me of a major pay rise! I can't say I'm happy about it as I don't really know what to do, and I have experienced states of distress and pain this year that I flat-out refuse to live with long-term. But I feel obliged to try and see what 'they' want from me.

I may attempt some sort of recovery if I am to be given a genuine purpose involving helping others, having a reasonable lifestyle including someone to love, etc. or at least having an awakening so profound that I can bliss out in my bedroom until this body dies, but I am keeping my N very safe and won't be shy about using it if there is no meaningful change.

I hope all this helps you in some way.


Thank you for sharing this.

People disoriented by spiritual experiences going to psych wards is unfortunately a fairly common occurrence. They will often be mis-diagnosed with bipolar or something. The system does not know how to handle them because the patient is in a more advanced state than the doctor!

Extreme meditation with no guidance from someone in a liberated state is not a good idea. Insights like the world being a projection are legitimate, but guidance is needed to actually integrate this into practical life. A true master would not advocate this approach.

The real tragedy is that there is so much incompetence at every level. Religions are incompetent at providing spiritual guidance because they are trying to sell the idea that they are 'The True Religion (tm)'. Science hasn't even begun to acknowledge basics like the afterlife being real despite overwhelming evidence to anyone who has done open-minded research. A basic understanding of the nature of life, like what we are talking about here, is so rare. So it is no wonder there is so much trouble.

Thanks for sharing your insights man, yeah I agree having to repeat life lessons over again is misery. I hope Source/God/Creator just forgives us and allows us to merge with it's unconditional love after death.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I never had kundlini awakening but I understand it can cause a lot of pain. I have been through ego death and It made me seriously suicidal.

The majority of NDEs - both suicide NDEs and those caused by illness/accidents - involve the individual being told 'your work is not complete, you have to go back'. Some sources (such as the Neale Donald Walsch book Home with God) indicate that afterlife itself is not the issue, but the inevitability of eventually going back into a similarly troubled human lifetime, or even being reborn back in time in the same lifetime and facing the same traumas again with the intention of conquering them or learning the lessons this time. This to me is worse than any fire and brimstone.

This is partially true. But those beings do not have our best interest in mind. And they well established in higher realms prey upon us here. On our fear, suffering and strife. There is no reason to be here. All of this is bullshit. I do not know why people take things like that without questioning. Afterlife is a comedy. It is all the same for every person. Even after life is scripted for us. Lets be real here, we have scripted life and afterlife, we shall break this cycle.

 

[sundown12]

oh my god, me....i started meditating and became psychotic for no fucking reason...MEDITATING. idk what to do, i kinda lost all hope in spiritual stuff after that. it totally ruined my life tbh

 

[Venus13]

oh my god, me....i started meditating and became psychotic for no fucking reason...MEDITATING. idk what to do, i kinda lost all hope in spiritual stuff after that. it totally ruined my life tbh

You might have a lot going on under the surface. Sitting silently in your hurt is a big deal. That happened to me too.

I just let it take over and show me what it wanted me to see after doing it so many times. Almost died though so probably not the safest route.

 

[makethepainstop]

Allegedly spiritual growth is supposed to be positive experience. But I guess it depends on the soul that's growing.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

Allegedly spiritual growth is supposed to be positive experience. But I guess it depends on the soul that's growing.

It can absolutely and a lot of the times be terribly painful. Jk. Seriously though.. The serpent must be raised up through. You ever see a picture of the Egyptians with the snake on their forehead? They have learned to master the primal energy and raise that sexual energy up instead of wasting it on temporary pleasures giving it away to wordly things.

Op, stop jerking off so much and maybe the kundalini will flow properly. When this energy is used In the wrong way it becomes destructive.
Very good

Physical pain will not follow you into the afterlife. It belongs to the Earthly body. The undesirable 'earthbound' condition is caused by having too many worldly addictions or attachments, and an unwillingness to go to the light. Thankfully, experiences of hell are uncommon and ultimately caused by the individual's state of mind.

The majority of NDEs - both suicide NDEs and those caused by illness/accidents - involve the individual being told 'your work is not complete, you have to go back'. Some sources (such as the Neale Donald Walsch book Home with God) indicate that afterlife itself is not the issue, but the inevitability of eventually going back into a similarly troubled human lifetime, or even being reborn back in time in the same lifetime and facing the same traumas again with the intention of conquering them or learning the lessons this time. This to me is worse than any fire and brimstone.

That said, I have pushed on through years of severe isolation, hardship, mental illness and depression waiting for some meaningful purpose to arise, but my resolve has been weakening.

The Universe
For those wondering what the 'lesson' is, we have to start with a crash course on the universe. I'll try and summarise. Firstly, it is a virtual reality and is not real. A genuine spiritual awakening (which I have not had) is a state of seeing this clearly and permanently, knowing one's Self to be eternal and all the trouble of the 'little me' person to be an illusion.

Everything/everyone in heaven and on Earth comes from a single source. A single light projected onto a mirror ball gives the impression of countless sparkles of coloured light. Or different waves on the ocean can be pointed to even though there's only the one ocean. That sort of thing.

Delusion vs. Truth
In short, when people buy into the appearance of being separate, atrocities result. For example, genocide is caused by people dividing the human race into imaginary castes and seeking to destroy the other. Our ecological crises are caused by man thinking himself separate from nature and attacking his own planet for egocentric, short-term gains. The human species is particularly primitive, in fact, making this world a hardcore boot camp, particularly for those of us with less-than-sheltered life stories.

However, merely being a kind-hearted person who refuses to descend to cruelty is only a stepping stone, as it still involves the sense of individuality (though still very advanced by human standards). Over lifetimes in which we may play all sorts of roles, what ultimately happens is a surrendering of personal pride and the sense of individuality to transcend the ego entirely. After ego death, life superficially goes on but the mind tends to be serene, there are no attachments and life unfolds with playful spontaneity rather than fearful planning.

As much as I am a critic of Christianity, the original teachings of Jesus are good examples of the perspective of someone who has fully mastered this process. (Eg. love thy neighbour, I and the father are one, etc.) Thankfully there are many other masters whose work has not been turned into divisive cults, such as Ramana Maharshi or Eckhart Tolle.

What it means for us?
I don't know. Each person is said to have inner guidance if the noise of the mind is kept at bay. The universe also communicates with us. For example, just a couple of days ago I was thinking about how if I had a financial windfall, I would put CTB aside and attempt a recovery. Moments later I got a phone call from my manager informing me of a major pay rise! I can't say I'm happy about it as I don't really know what to do, and I have experienced states of distress and pain this year that I flat-out refuse to live with long-term. But I feel obliged to try and see what 'they' want from me.

I may attempt some sort of recovery if I am to be given a genuine purpose involving helping others, having a reasonable lifestyle including someone to love, etc. or at least having an awakening so profound that I can bliss out in my bedroom until this body dies, but I am keeping my N very safe and won't be shy about using it if there is no meaningful change.

I hope all this helps you in some way.


Thank you for sharing this.

People disoriented by spiritual experiences going to psych wards is unfortunately a fairly common occurrence. They will often be mis-diagnosed with bipolar or something. The system does not know how to handle them because the patient is in a more advanced state than the doctor!

Extreme meditation with no guidance from someone in a liberated state is not a good idea. Insights like the world being a projection are legitimate, but guidance is needed to actually integrate this into practical life. A true master would not advocate this approach.

The real tragedy is that there is so much incompetence at every level. Religions are incompetent at providing spiritual guidance because they are trying to sell the idea that they are 'The True Religion (tm)'. Science hasn't even begun to acknowledge basics like the afterlife being real despite overwhelming evidence to anyone who has done open-minded research. A basic understanding of the nature of life, like what we are talking about here, is so rare. So it is no wonder there is so much trouble.

Thanks for sharing. Makes sense.

Physical pain will not follow you into the afterlife. It belongs to the Earthly body. The undesirable 'earthbound' condition is caused by having too many worldly addictions or attachments, and an unwillingness to go to the light. Thankfully, experiences of hell are uncommon and ultimately caused by the individual's state of mind.

The majority of NDEs - both suicide NDEs and those caused by illness/accidents - involve the individual being told 'your work is not complete, you have to go back'. Some sources (such as the Neale Donald Walsch book Home with God) indicate that afterlife itself is not the issue, but the inevitability of eventually going back into a similarly troubled human lifetime, or even being reborn back in time in the same lifetime and facing the same traumas again with the intention of conquering them or learning the lessons this time. This to me is worse than any fire and brimstone.

That said, I have pushed on through years of severe isolation, hardship, mental illness and depression waiting for some meaningful purpose to arise, but my resolve has been weakening.

The Universe
For those wondering what the 'lesson' is, we have to start with a crash course on the universe. I'll try and summarise. Firstly, it is a virtual reality and is not real. A genuine spiritual awakening (which I have not had) is a state of seeing this clearly and permanently, knowing one's Self to be eternal and all the trouble of the 'little me' person to be an illusion.

Everything/everyone in heaven and on Earth comes from a single source. A single light projected onto a mirror ball gives the impression of countless sparkles of coloured light. Or different waves on the ocean can be pointed to even though there's only the one ocean. That sort of thing.

Delusion vs. Truth
In short, when people buy into the appearance of being separate, atrocities result. For example, genocide is caused by people dividing the human race into imaginary castes and seeking to destroy the other. Our ecological crises are caused by man thinking himself separate from nature and attacking his own planet for egocentric, short-term gains. The human species is particularly primitive, in fact, making this world a hardcore boot camp, particularly for those of us with less-than-sheltered life stories.

However, merely being a kind-hearted person who refuses to descend to cruelty is only a stepping stone, as it still involves the sense of individuality (though still very advanced by human standards). Over lifetimes in which we may play all sorts of roles, what ultimately happens is a surrendering of personal pride and the sense of individuality to transcend the ego entirely. After ego death, life superficially goes on but the mind tends to be serene, there are no attachments and life unfolds with playful spontaneity rather than fearful planning.

As much as I am a critic of Christianity, the original teachings of Jesus are good examples of the perspective of someone who has fully mastered this process. (Eg. love thy neighbour, I and the father are one, etc.) Thankfully there are many other masters whose work has not been turned into divisive cults, such as Ramana Maharshi or Eckhart Tolle.

What it means for us?
I don't know. Each person is said to have inner guidance if the noise of the mind is kept at bay. The universe also communicates with us. For example, just a couple of days ago I was thinking about how if I had a financial windfall, I would put CTB aside and attempt a recovery. Moments later I got a phone call from my manager informing me of a major pay rise! I can't say I'm happy about it as I don't really know what to do, and I have experienced states of distress and pain this year that I flat-out refuse to live with long-term. But I feel obliged to try and see what 'they' want from me.

I may attempt some sort of recovery if I am to be given a genuine purpose involving helping others, having a reasonable lifestyle including someone to love, etc. or at least having an awakening so profound that I can bliss out in my bedroom until this body dies, but I am keeping my N very safe and won't be shy about using it if there is no meaningful change.

I hope all this helps you in some way.


Thank you for sharing this.

People disoriented by spiritual experiences going to psych wards is unfortunately a fairly common occurrence. They will often be mis-diagnosed with bipolar or something. The system does not know how to handle them because the patient is in a more advanced state than the doctor!

Extreme meditation with no guidance from someone in a liberated state is not a good idea. Insights like the world being a projection are legitimate, but guidance is needed to actually integrate this into practical life. A true master would not advocate this approach.

The real tragedy is that there is so much incompetence at every level. Religions are incompetent at providing spiritual guidance because they are trying to sell the idea that they are 'The True Religion (tm)'. Science hasn't even begun to acknowledge basics like the afterlife being real despite overwhelming evidence to anyone who has done open-minded research. A basic understanding of the nature of life, like what we are talking about here, is so rare. So it is no wonder there is so much trouble.

@Pluto MUCH RAspect to you.

 

[Pluto]

oh my god, me....i started meditating and became psychotic for no fucking reason...MEDITATING. idk what to do, i kinda lost all hope in spiritual stuff after that. it totally ruined my life tbh

Just quickly wanted to respond to this. Spiritual practice can invoke powerful forces and unearth intense suppressed emotions, traumas and more. It is very dangerous to attempt some of these things without guidance.

The following is one of a number of reports of people experiencing psychosis and even death following extreme meditation practices. Really poor form on the part of the people running the retreats.

'She didn't know what was real': Did 10-day meditation retreat trigger woman's suicide?

Instead of emerging from a meditation course enlightened, Megan Vogt exited incoherent, suicidal and in psychosis. Vogt later jumped from the Norman Wood Bridge.

www.pennlive.com

 

[sundown12]

Just quickly wanted to respond to this. Spiritual practice can invoke powerful forces and unearth intense suppressed emotions, traumas and more. It is very dangerous to attempt some of these things without guidance.

The following is one of a number of reports of people experiencing psychosis and even death following extreme meditation practices. Really poor form on the part of the people running the retreats.

'She didn't know what was real': Did 10-day meditation retreat trigger woman's suicide?

Instead of emerging from a meditation course enlightened, Megan Vogt exited incoherent, suicidal and in psychosis. Vogt later jumped from the Norman Wood Bridge.

www.pennlive.com

i didn't do anything super intense tbh, i did like one 5-10 minute meditation every day, and for some reason i gradually started slipping into psychosis.