Everything is crashing down around me. I have no idea how I am going to continue, nothing feels worth it anymore. I'm holding out hope for a little while, but I do not know how much longer I can slog through this, even if things go perfectly. It all comes tumbling down little by little, until one day you realized the floor has been pulled out from underneath you.
People say that when you're at rock bottom, "at least it can't get worse." At least for me, rock bottom has a basement, and I'm slowly falling down the stairs step by step. I used to find solace in the idea that suicide was always an option, that no matter what I had a "solution," but now i realize that it was never an option. It is a predestined event, caused by a mix of bad brain chemistry and psychological abuse. I was never given a chance. I was doomed to fail, and while I try as hard as I can to revolt against this, it is a harsh, unavoidable reality.
There is little hope in my life, and the few instances of light I have are flickering and dimming, and all I can do is idly watch as it burns out. My life has been a defined by a series of Deus ex machina-eques events that fell into my lap, either through sheer luck or demented form of divine intervention. Its almost as though I can feel my luck(therefore my life) slipping through my fingers.
All I can do now is pray and wait for a miracle or die trying.
People say that when you're at rock bottom, "at least it can't get worse." At least for me, rock bottom has a basement, and I'm slowly falling down the stairs step by step. I used to find solace in the idea that suicide was always an option, that no matter what I had a "solution," but now i realize that it was never an option. It is a predestined event, caused by a mix of bad brain chemistry and psychological abuse. I was never given a chance. I was doomed to fail, and while I try as hard as I can to revolt against this, it is a harsh, unavoidable reality.
There is little hope in my life, and the few instances of light I have are flickering and dimming, and all I can do is idly watch as it burns out. My life has been a defined by a series of Deus ex machina-eques events that fell into my lap, either through sheer luck or demented form of divine intervention. Its almost as though I can feel my luck(therefore my life) slipping through my fingers.
All I can do now is pray and wait for a miracle or die trying.
