Discussion Killing myself not only for myself

[RadiantNumber]

I started to excuse offing myselg that I could not only do it for myself but for my family and friends too, I think I am burden to them and deleting myself from their lives would make their lives better.
Did you have similar thoughts?

 

[ElTopo]

I try not to justify myself or sugar coat it.
In what way ctbing is better than trying not to be a burden?

 

[RadiantNumber]

I try not to justify myself or sugar coat it.
In what way ctbing is better than trying not to be a burden?

If I remove myself from their lives it could have positive impact financial and personal, currently I got financial help from my parents, this would give them release, also I think I stunt personal life of my friends
Deleting myself from everyone life would be most selfless thing in my life

 

[PI3.14]

Tbh, my family will rather me be a burden than kill myself. I however rather kill myself.

 

[thaelyana]

I started to excuse offing myselg that I could not only do it for myself but for my family and friends too, I think I am burden to them and deleting myself from their lives would make their lives better.
Did you have similar thoughts?

I know you feel like a burden right now, but with some distance, you'll see that's not true. And you know what? No one is forced to stay in your life iiiiif they're there, it's because they genuinely care about you.
Your family loves you, even if they don't always show it the way you need. And your friends love u ! all of them. That's certain. No one stays out of obligation. You know, your presence has an impact so a real one. And your absence would too…

Love
But yes!! I've already had this thought. In the end you feel stupid when you feel better.. surprisingly I don't think that for my friends, they really love me but yeah sometimes I feel like none of the people in my family love me except my little sister

 

[TBONTB]

I started to excuse offing myselg that I could not only do it for myself but for my family and friends too, I think I am burden to them and deleting myself from their lives would make their lives better.
Did you have similar thoughts?

Sorry you are feeling this way.

You didn't mention why you feel like a burden. A lot of times we think we are a burden but it's something people are happy to do because they love us. Or, perhaps you are on a pathway to be less of a burden..with the extra therapy, a job hunt, etc.

I've definitely thought about this though. For example I don't want my son to have to house me and take me in. But I know he might say you are worth it.

 

[SteamaHorns]

I've done something like this myself; had cut ties with almost everyone that I considered family, in the hopes that it would help them more easily handle certain things that I at the time believed would come up in their lives, along with hoping that it would overall change said lives for the better.

I don't know yet if it'll actually help them cope with said things that may happen sooner or later. I also don't know if me essentially disappearing from their lives has actually improved them either. In fact I have more reasons to think that it may have actually screwed up some of their lives, and am barely really comprehending the gravity of what I've done.

At the end of the day though, I've accepted that the decision to CTB will always be inherently selfish of me and will undoubtedly damage those I care about. Suicide may be a noble choice for some, but is not and will not ever be for me if it's being done in the way I've planned for it to happen. The true noble decision would have been to give every existing form of essence that makes up my life to become the person who fixes not only my own life, but also the lives of the ones I claim to care about and love. And if I can't fix them despite all of the sacrifices made, then at least must do all that I can to help them, yet I instead desire to take my own life and to escape my own suffering despite fully knowing that it will cause much of the same onto everyone else.

But honesty? I totally get your sentiment. At times we really may be uneeded baggage to everyone we know in our lives, and those people will rarely ever admit it. But the funniest thing is the fact that many of them would be happier to keep that useless baggage in their lives regardless, so I guess at least some of us aren't totally useless after all?

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I started to excuse offing myselg that I could not only do it for myself but for my family and friends too, I think I am burden to them and deleting myself from their lives would make their lives better.
Did you have similar thoughts?

Yea similar,,
I just don't want to be perceived,,
and I want somthing of my own,
Somthing I have full control over,,
And I've always felt I've had little to no power over my life and so ending it by my own hand would make it my own,, in a morbid way I suppose.

 

[TBONTB]

If I remove myself from their lives it could have positive impact financial and personal, currently I got financial help from my parents, this would give them release, also I think I stunt personal life of my friends
Deleting myself from everyone life would be most selfless thing in my life

Maybe, maybe not. It's possible your brain is making up a story about you being a drain on others when they in fact love and enjoy you. Our depression brains like to do that to us.

 

[kopebaldy]

Let's speak facts, shall we?

1. I was an accident.

2. My birth alone lunged my family into poverty, destroyed my parents' marriage and costed my brother his childhood.

3. My mother almost died because of some complications related to carrying me, medical stuff I'm too stupid to understand.

4. As I grow I get sicker and sicker both physically and mentally, which costed so much money and caused so much grief.

5. As an adult, legally speaking that is, I couldn't control my tempers and causing damages everywhere I work. The fact that I'm currently having a job is a miracle by itself.

6. My mother couldn't retire because she's worried there wouldn't be enough money left for me when she dies.

So as you can see, it's best for everyone that I cease to exist.

 

[Nightfoot]

I started to excuse offing myselg that I could not only do it for myself but for my family and friends too, I think I am burden to them and deleting myself from their lives would make their lives better.
Did you have similar thoughts?

Wouldn't your death and absence from their lives be a bigger burden?

 

[RadiantNumber]

Wouldn't your death and absence from their lives be a bigger burden?

I didn't thought about it