Discussion kill or be killed

[trashisland]

suicide is a difficult thing for many people. some just dont have the resources or are too afraid to do anything, along with many many other reasons. for me I dont want to deal with any pain and I dont want to burden others with my death. sometimes I wish something terrible would happen to me like getting hit by a speeding car or being killed by another person as long as its quick, just so I can die and not have to overcome the natural urge to want to survive that id have to overcome when trying to ctb. I know im too weak to overcome that urge, honestly. and the thought of failing makes it so much worse. at least if death is in the hands of another, there's no way to control whether it fails or not. it's either kill yourself, or be killed (either by some natural cause or by things like I just said).

has anyone else had similar thoughts?

 

[bl33ding_heart]

suicide is a difficult thing for many people. some just dont have the resources or are too afraid to do anything, along with many many other reasons. for me I dont want to deal with any pain and I dont want to burden others with my death. sometimes I wish something terrible would happen to me like getting hit by a speeding car or being killed by another person as long as its quick, just so I can die and not have to overcome the natural urge to want to survive that id have to overcome when trying to ctb. I know im too weak to overcome that urge, honestly. and the thought of failing makes it so much worse. at least if death is in the hands of another, there's no way to control whether it fails or not. it's either kill yourself, or be killed (either by some natural cause or by things like I just said).

has anyone else had similar thoughts?

I feel the same way. I'd much rather be killed as I struggle a lot with having the guts to do the job myself. Whenever I come close to killing myself, I can't stop thinking about the potential good future I could have and how I would be wasting the chance to live that life. Even though the chances of me having the life I want aren't even and probably never were that high.

 

[trashisland]

I feel the same way. I'd much rather be killed as I struggle a lot with having the guts to do the job myself. Whenever I come close to killing myself, I can't stop thinking about the potential good future I could have and how I would be wasting the chance to live that life. Even though the chances of me having the life I want aren't even and probably never were that high.

me too, I think about my future a lot. I think things will get better, that my issues are only temporary, and then in a month or a year im in the exact same position. I always wish I had done something earlier and yet I never do it

 

[unluckysadness]

me too, I think about my future a lot. I think things will get better, that my issues are only temporary, and then in a month or a year im in the exact same position. I always wish I had done something earlier and yet I never do it

Exactly the same for me. We are hoping for an improvement that never comes, and the years pass... It's desperating...

 

[sy46]

suicide is a difficult thing for many people. some just dont have the resources or are too afraid to do anything, along with many many other reasons. for me I dont want to deal with any pain and I dont want to burden others with my death. sometimes I wish something terrible would happen to me like getting hit by a speeding car or being killed by another person as long as its quick, just so I can die and not have to overcome the natural urge to want to survive that id have to overcome when trying to ctb. I know im too weak to overcome that urge, honestly. and the thought of failing makes it so much worse. at least if death is in the hands of another, there's no way to control whether it fails or not. it's either kill yourself, or be killed (either by some natural cause or by things like I just said).

has anyone else had similar thoughts?

I'm thinking the exact same thing. I've been hoping for years that something really bad will happen to me, one that will bring about my death and my peace (hopefully) without me doing anything. But nothing ever happens, and it's like I'm condemned to this mediocre, tormented life. I'm really tired. I just wish I weren't such a coward and could finally do something because I'm tired of telling myself "I'll do it today" or "I'll do it tomorrow" and then, in the end, backing out at the last minute. I'm exhausted from getting up in the morning, even breathing has become a chore and oppressive, so I really hope I get diagnosed with some serious illness or get hit by a car, or whatever, as long as I die.

 

[r.m.216]

suicide is a difficult thing for many people. some just dont have the resources or are too afraid to do anything, along with many many other reasons. for me I dont want to deal with any pain and I dont want to burden others with my death. sometimes I wish something terrible would happen to me like getting hit by a speeding car or being killed by another person as long as its quick, just so I can die and not have to overcome the natural urge to want to survive that id have to overcome when trying to ctb. I know im too weak to overcome that urge, honestly. and the thought of failing makes it so much worse. at least if death is in the hands of another, there's no way to control whether it fails or not. it's either kill yourself, or be killed (either by some natural cause or by things like I just said).

has anyone else had similar thoughts?

Ya but killing someone is hard and what's their motivation

 

[theboy]

Yes
It is "comforting" to be killed because you are not carrying the responsibility

 

[Nightfoot]

I would prefer to die in my sleep, but that seems to be a fate reserved for the lucky.

 

[fatty44]

I would prefer to die in my sleep, but that seems to be a fate reserved for the lucky.

I pray for that every night.