It's almost like I'm too depressed to organize my own suicide and need something to get me over the hump.
I am very tempted to try psylocybin ( the magic mushroom ) . but having a tenuous grip on reality , or a posoitive view of it , makes me fearful of consciousness cracking apart irretrievabley .
I've weed smoked and alcoholed myself into ( self diagnosed ) madness before now ... so I'm reticent.
If that wasn't the case I think I would be into it.