Venting kept alive by pills, but to what end?

[waistcoat]

a few days ago i lost my bag containing my medication.

i went less than 72 hours without my medication.
the first 24h were hazy, kinda like there was a fog over everything, this is fairly normal for me regardless, it happens at least once or twice a week, so i wasn't too bothered.
the next 3 days (3 cus the meds take a while to act again if u stop them) were absolute fucking hell and i am still suffering from the consequences.

i started feeling dizzy, constantly, i'd lose consiousness and faint for a few seconds at a time every 10-15 minutes, sometimes faster, regardless on if i was walking, sitting, eating, etc.

then the panic attacks started. oh god.
i was starting to think i didn't actually need my medication.
haha.
i was very wrong.

my gf was there to hug me and try help me through them. but it didn't really do anything.
i cried so much that my eyes still hurt days later.
i couldn't breathe.
i was in physical pain from my disabilities, but also physical pain from the crying, chest pain, and emotional pain of fuck knows what

i was literally unable to process any emotions or do anything other than cry
we went for a walk around the area we were staying and i broke down in random bathrooms multiple times and kept almost breaking down randomly while walking

im home now and i still have a headache from everything.

to what end is this?
people say it's supposed to get better, but even with my meds i still have debilitating panic attacks multiple times a day, everyday.

if i miss a dose i go fucking insane and it takes days to recover
this is no way to live

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry this happened to you. Was it not possible to go to an emergency room, or similar, at a hospital, tell them what happened, and get treatment restarted quickly?

 

[waistcoat]

I'm sorry this happened to you. Was it not possible to go to an emergency room, or similar, at a hospital, tell them what happened, and get treatment restarted quickly?

in theory, yea, but there are 2 issues:
1) i genuinely don't care enough about myself to do that.
2) this isn't the first time it's happened, and last time i did speak to my doctors about it and they said "this isn't a symptom", ya know, despite it clearly being a symptom.

doctors don't take me seriously because they assume their stupid pieces of paper are more accurate than the fucking visible symtoms i very clearly exhibit.

 

[dialogos]

at least your meds do help you out if you take them. other people in this forum aren't as fortunate. I'm really sad you're going thru this but please do take your meds always so you won't experience this torture again.