I lied to everyone about finishing highschool and aiming for university when i haven't even finished highschool yet. No one knows except my direct family. It's been going on for few years now and i feel disgusting amount of shame and guilt everytime and yet It is not enough for me to actually do something about my situation. I am too comfortable with where I am to the point i panic when it's anything different. I am extremely afraid of people because i feel like they'll find out about me, especially people my age. It has hindered every aspect of my life and led me down deep depression and self isolation. My situation feels hopeless and I am too afraid to do anything and because this type of thing is not the first time it has happened. As a kid i used to avoid school so much that my parents would exchange schools alot due to my absentees and even now they've completely given up on me. I feel like even if i tried to do anything I'd repeat the same patterns. I feel like a hopeless case.
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