traingirl
I was good. I was really good.
- Oct 7, 2025
- 329
That was so intense and that was my lowest dose. I don't know if this was its intended effect but it gave me peace with death. I saw all my trauma flash at me but I saw my friends and I went through each of their names and said I love you to them. It made me realize how much pain there has been in my life. My life is literally a story of pain and trauma and I asked it to help me break through this. It told me I had two options: I can break through my chains by working on myself or I can choose death. It didn't shame the death option. It was there as a choice if I needed it. It wasn't negative or shameful if I wanted it. It told me it was ok if I felt that life was too much for me to handle and I wanted to let go. Maybe that's not what I should've gotten out of it but it was what I got out of it. I can't stop crying or sighing to release all the built up pain and emotions I have bubbling inside me.
