C
Circles
Visionary
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,297
Apologies for the rambling. I am fucking tired of everyone else talk normally as though it's just another day to talk about what the fuck ever. I want to scream and shout at everyone I see and tell them there lives are pointless, we are on a fucking rock hurdling through an infinite black space, and that there's so much fucking suffering in this world that it's unfathomable to comprehend. All this suffering and all people want to do is nothing but try to enjoy life because most people can't do nothing. Every effort to change things into something better, every moment that I want to just feel some hope once in my pathetic life amounts to ash. I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not. I might be trying to recover but I feel the same no matter what. I can't unsee what I've learned, I can't undo what I've been through, I can't stop myself from believing in anything besides being pessimistic. Like I'm so pathetic that I'm trying to help people when I can't even help myself. What can I say to these people? What advice is there when the suffering will never stop? I feel so broken and damaged that I don't know how to hope. Hope hurts. Hope invalidates suffering.