Venting just need to vent.

[orangeKat]

I'm so sick of being alive. I'm not good enough, and I never will be. I'm incredibly broken, and I'll never be able to fix myself. I'll never be skinny, I'll never be attractive, I'll never pass as a woman, I'll never be a programmer like I've always wanted to, I'll never move out of my parents' house, and I'll never have a girlfriend. I'm hopeless. I'll never be good enough. I just want to die, and I'd give anything for N.

I don't have good days anymore. some people have good days and bad days. I have horrible days and tolerable days. my life isn't going anywhere. I'm just surviving because I don't have a good way to die.

I am in so much emotional pain right now, and I just want it to be over.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

The good thing about programming is that it doesn't require a degree, so you can enter it whenever you want. If you can take a year off of school your only problems for a bit will be your appearance, and tbh as a woman we have it lucky because with practice practice practice we can shapeshift with good makeup skills. Sucks that N isn't around, but tbh there are other ways that are similarly as painless. You don't need to get fixated on N.

 

[orangeKat]

what other ways would you suggest?

 

[Vesiira]

I'm so sick of being alive. I'm not good enough, and I never will be. I'm incredibly broken, and I'll never be able to fix myself. I'll never be skinny, I'll never be attractive, I'll never pass as a woman, I'll never be a programmer like I've always wanted to, I'll never move out of my parents' house, and I'll never have a girlfriend. I'm hopeless. I'll never be good enough. I just want to die, and I'd give anything for N.

I don't have good days anymore. some people have good days and bad days. I have horrible days and tolerable days. my life isn't going anywhere. I'm just surviving because I don't have a good way to die.

I am in so much emotional pain right now, and I just want it to be over.

I feel the same, friend. Especially lately. Hell, especially these last couple days. Constantly feeling like a failure, realizing that it's probably never going to get better. Physically or mentally. It hasn't for YEARS. When will it? I wish you didn't have to feel this. All we want is just an easy way for it to be over, but seems like the world has to take that away from us too. You're as much of a woman as me. I may have been born a woman, but I consider you one too. I'm sure you're beautiful inside and out. Usually the ones who suffer the most are. I'm just sorry to hear life is tearing you down right now. It can be so unfair.

 

[Weltall]

I'm so sick of being alive. I'm not good enough, and I never will be. I'm incredibly broken, and I'll never be able to fix myself. I'll never be skinny, I'll never be attractive, I'll never pass as a woman, I'll never be a programmer like I've always wanted to, I'll never move out of my parents' house, and I'll never have a girlfriend. I'm hopeless. I'll never be good enough. I just want to die, and I'd give anything for N.

I don't have good days anymore. some people have good days and bad days. I have horrible days and tolerable days. my life isn't going anywhere. I'm just surviving because I don't have a good way to die.

I am in so much emotional pain right now, and I just want it to be over.

I'm sorry you feel this way, and I'm sorry that you're at the breaking point.
You can, however, always improve yourself.
You can eventually be skinny.

You have a list of personal issues, but it's possible to change them.
You just have to put in effort.
But I understand effort can be exhausting.
No matter what, you have a choice and we'll support it.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable just wishing for N, it must be tiring and dreadful what you are going through, I find it cruel how people cannot have the option to just die in peace. But anyway best wishes.

 

[orangeKat]

I feel the same, friend. Especially lately. Hell, especially these last couple days. Constantly feeling like a failure, realizing that it's probably never going to get better. Physically or mentally. It hasn't for YEARS. When will it? I wish you didn't have to feel this. All we want is just an easy way for it to be over, but seems like the world has to take that away from us too. You're as much of a woman as me. I may have been born a woman, but I consider you one too. I'm sure you're beautiful inside and out. Usually the ones who suffer the most are. I'm just sorry to hear life is tearing you down right now. It can be so unfair.

thank you. it's always nice to hear from a cis woman that I'm a real woman too. and thank you for saying I'm beautiful.

 

[Vesiira]

thank you. it's always nice to hear from a cis woman that I'm a real woman too. and thank you for saying I'm beautiful.

i'm sure it is! i try my best to support trans people however i can. i'm lgbtq+ too! we gotta stick together!!! no problem at all. sending love. <3