I finally had my "a ha" suicide moment when I realized that I wouldn't had bothered if I had died a few days or weeks ago. It doesn't matter. Just death.
I spent all weekend trying to overdose on norco and percocet. I'd wash it down with Nyquil and anti-histamines. I slept deep but didn't die. I am very disappointed and frustrated that I have to go back to work tomorrow.
My plan for next week is to score fentanyl from my dealer and spend Monday through Thursday working out and fasting.
On Thursday, I will call out sick for Friday. I will enjoy (hopefully) one of my final nice meals. I will pop a metoclopramide
On Friday, I will spend the day cleaning up, making my letter and printing out financial documents. After business hours, I will get a bit high and enjoy a final light dinner. Pop a metoclopramide.
On Saturday morning, I will head to the beach before dawn, pick up a light breakfast and go home. I will take a bit of fentanyl to test it. Once I get a sense of it, I will take more followed by Nyquil.
Hopefully that will be enough to kill me.
My dealer said I am getting "blues" but they are not oxycodone but is actually fentanyl. I will test it before taking it as it will cost me an arm and a leg.
If that doesn't kill me, then I am going to be pissed and will move onto the SN method next week.
I think I've attempted suicide three times in the last two weeks. Killing yourself is hard!
I spent all weekend trying to overdose on norco and percocet. I'd wash it down with Nyquil and anti-histamines. I slept deep but didn't die. I am very disappointed and frustrated that I have to go back to work tomorrow.
My plan for next week is to score fentanyl from my dealer and spend Monday through Thursday working out and fasting.
On Thursday, I will call out sick for Friday. I will enjoy (hopefully) one of my final nice meals. I will pop a metoclopramide
On Friday, I will spend the day cleaning up, making my letter and printing out financial documents. After business hours, I will get a bit high and enjoy a final light dinner. Pop a metoclopramide.
On Saturday morning, I will head to the beach before dawn, pick up a light breakfast and go home. I will take a bit of fentanyl to test it. Once I get a sense of it, I will take more followed by Nyquil.
Hopefully that will be enough to kill me.
My dealer said I am getting "blues" but they are not oxycodone but is actually fentanyl. I will test it before taking it as it will cost me an arm and a leg.
If that doesn't kill me, then I am going to be pissed and will move onto the SN method next week.
I think I've attempted suicide three times in the last two weeks. Killing yourself is hard!
