T

thatisitguy

Member
Jul 11, 2024
72
I finally had my "a ha" suicide moment when I realized that I wouldn't had bothered if I had died a few days or weeks ago. It doesn't matter. Just death.

I spent all weekend trying to overdose on norco and percocet. I'd wash it down with Nyquil and anti-histamines. I slept deep but didn't die. I am very disappointed and frustrated that I have to go back to work tomorrow.

My plan for next week is to score fentanyl from my dealer and spend Monday through Thursday working out and fasting.

On Thursday, I will call out sick for Friday. I will enjoy (hopefully) one of my final nice meals. I will pop a metoclopramide

On Friday, I will spend the day cleaning up, making my letter and printing out financial documents. After business hours, I will get a bit high and enjoy a final light dinner. Pop a metoclopramide.

On Saturday morning, I will head to the beach before dawn, pick up a light breakfast and go home. I will take a bit of fentanyl to test it. Once I get a sense of it, I will take more followed by Nyquil.

Hopefully that will be enough to kill me.

My dealer said I am getting "blues" but they are not oxycodone but is actually fentanyl. I will test it before taking it as it will cost me an arm and a leg.

If that doesn't kill me, then I am going to be pissed and will move onto the SN method next week.

I think I've attempted suicide three times in the last two weeks. Killing yourself is hard!
 
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wehadsomanyplans2

wehadsomanyplans2

Goddamnit I tried!
Jul 19, 2024
7
Yay for fentanyl as a way out. I'm giving that a try tonight :). I wish you peace and freedom from suffering on your journey <3
 
T

thatisitguy

Member
Jul 11, 2024
72
Yay for fentanyl as a way out. I'm giving that a try tonight :). I wish you peace and freedom from suffering on your journey <3
Thanks.

I did score the fentanyl and tested it. I took some a few days ago and it's strong. I might take a bit more tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, too many things are coming up from enacting my plan. My family and job are taking over the time that I need to prep and there is too much noise from construction and gardeners outside. I even got a hotel but it reeked of cigarettes. I just need a day free of work and family and have peace and quiet.
 

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