So, a couple months ago i was at my wits end. I already had my sn ready. But for some reason, maybe the relief of having what i need to catch the bus or to see if things will get better, i held off.
Well, some days were okay, some days were worse, is it just me or life is way harder after the pandemic? Kinda started being an alcoholic, which i believe is keeping me sane, as drinking with friends gets your mind out of the gutter for a bit. And playing games or reading novels is an enjoyable escape from the daily grind.
Now though, with the way things are turning out in my life, i know i still do want to catch the bus, but, I'm scared. Frankly, i don't have anything to live for. What terrifies me is that i don't know what's next after i take that drink. Will i wake up the next day? Will there be a God to save my soul? Will i be stuck in hell for all eternity? Or will it just be darkness?
I kinda regret not taking my ride when i had the will to not bother about what's next.
Well, some days were okay, some days were worse, is it just me or life is way harder after the pandemic? Kinda started being an alcoholic, which i believe is keeping me sane, as drinking with friends gets your mind out of the gutter for a bit. And playing games or reading novels is an enjoyable escape from the daily grind.
Now though, with the way things are turning out in my life, i know i still do want to catch the bus, but, I'm scared. Frankly, i don't have anything to live for. What terrifies me is that i don't know what's next after i take that drink. Will i wake up the next day? Will there be a God to save my soul? Will i be stuck in hell for all eternity? Or will it just be darkness?
I kinda regret not taking my ride when i had the will to not bother about what's next.
