i didnt come from much. i had a lot of scholarship money, low 6 figures, didnt have family who went to uni. worked my ass off in hs, had a 4.0 and all the shit, first in class. no support from anyone. everyone would beat the shit outta eachother at home, i felt empty.
was lonely, felt "out of place" bc i got kicked out and disowned by my fam. super depressed. got a lot of shit, hate for being openly unwell. i feel guilty because i do have some flaws from all the trauma and abuse, like personality wise. i can come off cold or conceited - but i never noticed until i left the abuse. shit i had to work on, that i feel really guilty for because i never noticed until i had a healthy environment. tarnished my reputation regardless, like big time. no one likes someone like that obv and being openly depressed, mentally ill - understandable if ur normal lmao
got into drugs, didnt want to deal with the trauma and hate. and no one likes a drug addict in a competitive environment either. what the fuck is wrong with u kinda thing.
fuck i just wanted to be loved. wanted to be accepted. LOTS of people hate me. i want to die because i am like, isolated from a lot of people my age. strange, but theres potential to grow and be healthy. my reputation within my field is scattered, regardless if i heal or not for struggling. thats another factor of why i want to die.
was lonely, felt "out of place" bc i got kicked out and disowned by my fam. super depressed. got a lot of shit, hate for being openly unwell. i feel guilty because i do have some flaws from all the trauma and abuse, like personality wise. i can come off cold or conceited - but i never noticed until i left the abuse. shit i had to work on, that i feel really guilty for because i never noticed until i had a healthy environment. tarnished my reputation regardless, like big time. no one likes someone like that obv and being openly depressed, mentally ill - understandable if ur normal lmao
got into drugs, didnt want to deal with the trauma and hate. and no one likes a drug addict in a competitive environment either. what the fuck is wrong with u kinda thing.
fuck i just wanted to be loved. wanted to be accepted. LOTS of people hate me. i want to die because i am like, isolated from a lot of people my age. strange, but theres potential to grow and be healthy. my reputation within my field is scattered, regardless if i heal or not for struggling. thats another factor of why i want to die.
