Just got a rope ordered

[Darmok]

Ordered a rope for pickup this evening. Here's hoping I have the courage to go through with it. I am so tired of life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans and I hope that you find the freedom you search for, I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this existence.

 

[Darmok]

Wasn't able to pull it off last night. Hard psychologically to do it. Trying again today.

 

[Darmok]

Turned out part of the issue was I didn't allow myself enough play to kneel for the partial suspension. I tried again. Felt the blood build up in my head. Remarkable feeling as I could feel myself drifting off. Going to do something I enjoy today, then maybe attempt for real later today.

 

[Darmok]

Still can't bring myself to do it. Combo of the discomfort and thinking about how the decision is final.

 

[Darmok]

Going to try again this weekend. Wish me luck.

 

[Lovestruckmadness]

I wish you well. I hope you fulfill your wish.

 

[Darmok]

I did not manage it. Thoughts again on my head. I just want to end it all. I am tired of life, tired od everything.

 

[unabletocope]

I'm in a similar place at the moment, I think with something like hanging there's a certain focus you need for it that I think something like ODing or taking chemicals doesn't need. I hope you find what you're searching for either way

 

[Darmok]

I tried. Tuesday evening I tried taking some oxys to relax me so I could do the deed. I just ended up half asleep the whole night and vomiting in the morning. I hate this. I hate life. I just wish I could work up the courage to kill myself.

 

[Forveleth]

I tried. Tuesday evening I tried taking some oxys to relax me so I could do the deed. I just ended up half asleep the whole night and vomiting in the morning. I hate this. I hate life. I just wish I could work up the courage to kill myself.

Keep trying! Fear of death is hard to overcome. I found, for me, with each attempt I was more and more relaxed and comfortable until I was really ready (and then it didn't work).

Got my rope in the other day. Going to start practicing this weekend. Good luck to us!

 

[Meteora]

Think you took too many tranquillizers.

 

[Worndown]

Ordered a rope for pickup this evening. Here's hoping I have the courage to go through with it. I am so tired of life.

How are you holding up?

 

[Darmok]

I just want to die. That is how I am holding up. And I am pissed with myself for not being able to go through with it.

 

[Darmok]

Think you took too many tranquillizers.

I may indeed have taken too much Oxy. Fact is, I need to get at a point where I still have the will to kill myself, but I am relaxed enough not to fight it.

I hate where I am now in all respects. Job, life, everything. I guess I will try again tonight.

 

[Meteora]

I may indeed have taken too much Oxy. Fact is, I need to get at a point where I still have the will to kill myself, but I am relaxed enough not to fight it.

Yes. That poibt you have to find. I plan the same for myself.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I've got the rope in my car. Got it last year. Researched it before buying at a hardware store.

 

[clown_17]

I wish you good luck. I also struggle with wanting to do it but having pesky survival instinct get in the way. I would suggest next time taking a little bit less of the oxy than you did last time, and playing some of your favourite songs to relax you. Try not to think of death as the end of you, but instead as the beginning of a new journey, one free of suffering. When you're dead you won't even be able to even feel regret about the choice since you won't be aware of anything anymore.

However if you're scared, it's okay to take a break. You don't have to force yourself to do it. Maybe you need to think a bit more or get a few things in order first

 

[Darmok]

Tha k you. I did try taking less of the oxy. And I just ended up with such a good feeling I did not want to go. Sigh.

 

[Darmok]

Gah. Still (pardon the pun) hanging on to life, even though I want to leave. Fun part is that I start to panic anytime the method actually seems to start working.

I hate this crap.
I am going to try again either tonight or tomorrow night. I really am having trouble trying to figure out where on the neck to put the rope and the best way to position myself.