Venting Just found DMC

[bullfrog61]

I just found DMC and... wow. Feels really weird.
Actually CTBing felt like an abstract idea my entire life, and now it's just... a button I can press, and I'd have the chemicals. Would still have to find a way to get it without my parents knowing since I still live with them and they have access to my bank accounts (yeah I'm a fucking manchild lol), and there's still the matter of the anti nausea drugs, but if I figured it out, I could be dead within a month.
Now I have to actually figure out if I really want to do this. Part of me does.
I don't really have anything to say or any topics of conversation with this post. It's just an odd feeling.

 

[Tonic_Secrecy]

I know the feeling. Actually having a good method to CTB is surreal. I worked out a compromise for the payment method since I was struggling with that. Definitely a good guy to do business with—pretty flexible. So, if you ever have any problems with payment methods, you can probably talk to him about an alternative, just in case that comes up in your future.

Anyway, I hope you find your peace.

 

[yearofluigi]

Yeah... Part of me wants to die, part of me wants to get better, part of me is pretty sure I won't ever get better. Whatever. I have lots of time to make up my mind and for now it's reassuring to know that I have my SN stashed away. Like, I'm closer to killing myself than I've ever been and I feel... proud? I think I'm just happy to have some sorta semblance of control over whether I have to live. I dunno. Anyway I live with my parents too and was able to order from DMC with almost no paper trail by using Western Union money transfer to pay for the SN, doing so at a local WU office so I could pay with cash, and getting the SN delivered to a PO box. Nothing on the internet is truly private but it's feasible to get SN without alerting anyone who would get concerned.

Take your time figuring out whether CTB is what you want. Being impulsive could lead to botched attempts, injury, detainment, that sorta thing. Whether you go through with this or not, I hope you find peace.

 

[bullfrog61]

Yeah... Part of me wants to die, part of me wants to get better, part of me is pretty sure I won't ever get better. Whatever. I have lots of time to make up my mind and for now it's reassuring to know that I have my SN stashed away. Like, I'm closer to killing myself than I've ever been and I feel... proud? I think I'm just happy to have some sorta semblance of control over whether I have to live. I dunno. Anyway I live with my parents too and was able to order from DMC with almost no paper trail by using Western Union money transfer to pay for the SN, doing so at a local WU office so I could pay with cash, and getting the SN delivered to a PO box. Nothing on the internet is truly private but it's feasible to get SN without alerting anyone who would get concerned.

Take your time figuring out whether CTB is what you want. Being impulsive could lead to botched attempts, injury, detainment, that sorta thing. Whether you go through with this or not, I hope you find peace.

Thank you.