Just diagnosed with breast cancer

[redSonja]

I obviously don't want to live, that's why I am here. And yesterday on mammography which was arranged for me by company they found it. It's in sito (not invasive yet) but treatments are always the same. Cutting part or all, radiation, anti-hormonal therapy. All are horror and something I'm not sure I would choose to go through even if I my life was much better and I had reasons to live.

So I don't know what to think, maybe it's good, now I could wait a bit until spreads and try to get euthanasia. I live in Croatia, it would be in Switzerland or Netherlands.
But I know its so hard to get it anyway and that I probably won't be able to arrange it. So just pains awaits me. Or years of pain until they agree

I'm not sure how to feel or what to do.

And do you know whats the sickest in this all...the day of mammography I had to get up early which always puts me in the bad mood. But no, that morning I woke up and actually felt maybe something like a bit of happiness...I met guy few days ago, he sent me nice text and that kept me in good mood. I know that it wouldn't last and I would be miserable soon enough but still it's interesting that it happened that day after month maybe even years. Little happiness
And then later that day...cancer :)

I guess I'm trying to find some meaning although I know very well it doesn't exist

 

[Forveleth]

I know cancer seems scary. However, breast cancer is one of the most well researched cancers out there and it is highly treatable. Your life is not over just because you have cancer. On the other hand, depending on the stage and grade, cancer can be quite a battle and some people would rather take their leave than fight it. I completely understand that line of thinking too.

It is a difficult diagnosis to get and proxess. Take some time to think about it. Find out what your options are. It does not have to be the end for you at all though.

 

[kotonearisato]

I'm so sorry. I know it always seems like the moment something good happens, it's like the universe has to remind you... but, I think it's important to remember, you don't have to decide what happens right this second just because you've gotten the diagnosis. You have some time to look at all your options, and choose the best ones for you. There's no need to decide how you should be feeling yet either. Anything you are doing, no matter how frequently it's changing - it's all understandable and totally okay. Wishing you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I second the post about breast cancer being one of, if not, the most treatable cancers, especially when found early. I'm sorry you have cancer. I hope you find the strength to make the best decision for yourself that you can. Peace to you now and going forward.