Venting Just being alive is physically exhausting

[KillingPain267]

I can't go through even the simplest life challenges because my brain works overtime producing and trying to process intrusive and depressive thoughts. And my body feels exhausted because my heart and bowels work overtime before, during and after bouts of anxiety. Just the thought of missing the bus gives me diarrhea. Just the thought of going to a therapy session gives me anxiety days before. But the irony is that I have to increase my anxiety to treat the anxiety. I am just so exhausted, honestly.

 

[cali22♡]

I can understand your fear exactly because unfortunately I always suffer from it too.
I also thought at the beginning that I had a lactose intolerance, which is not true, but I'm just afraid of everything and that also triggers diarrhea for me. . for me even the simplest things in life are exhausting my relatives always say "you're lazy" but it's not true at all i just don't have the energy for everything. . .

Friends ask me if I can help them but because of my health situation I don't have the strength and then they always say that I'm lazy. . . I hate this feeling when it presses inside my body and I feel the fear. . . i just want to be a normal person in a normal society what the hell is so hard about it?!?!?!!!

 

[KillingPain267]

I can understand your fear exactly because unfortunately I always suffer from it too.
I also thought at the beginning that I had a lactose intolerance, which is not true, but I'm just afraid of everything and that also triggers diarrhea for me. . for me even the simplest things in life are exhausting my relatives always say "you're lazy" but it's not true at all i just don't have the energy for everything. . .

Friends ask me if I can help them but because of my health situation I don't have the strength and then they always say that I'm lazy. . . I hate this feeling when it presses inside my body and I feel the fear. . . i just want to be a normal person in a normal society what the hell is so hard about it?!?!?!!!

During summer I had it even worse because the heat made my heart race faster, and it confused my brain thinking it was more anxiety. But everyone always said "take a walk take a walk". But going outside in heat with a fast pulse made me so exhausted.

And that is on top of sunny summer weather triggering crippling nostalgic thoughts of good memories with the love of my life who left me. So I preferred to just stay inside and watching movies. It was the only thing that even remotely calmed me down. But everyone always say it's a "waste" of good weather, lol.

People simply don't understand others' perspectives.

 

[cali22♡]

No, they don't understand that either

I once had a boy in class who was always shouting

"CALI WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS AGAIN"

You don't want to know how urgently I had to go to school and the teachers wouldn't let me.