Just a plea

[StupidCat]

Remind me, fate, of
my journey outward,
my homeward return,
my heartless self,
my cause, if any,
my reason for being.
must I stall in your indecision?
in the bluntness of your means?
in the cruelty of their ends?
If I must fit a mold—
yet I don't.
If I must own a gender—
yet it won't suit me.
If I must occupy a place—
yet I cannot enter.
If I must follow some set path,
some road that soothes
the grief
of indecision,
of not belonging,
of insecurity,
of alienation—
and yet, I stray.

Forgive me, fate,
for not returning,
for departing,
for existing,
just for being.
for there was no decision,
and luck went unwritten—
for it is the most benign
while I tear myself apart on one side
and on the other am pierced,
bound and chained on one side
and on the other branded with searing iron;
for my rest is fleeting,
my support conditional,
my self two-dimensional,
my sorrow endless,
my life, liminal.

Remember me, fate,
for departing;
and forgive me
for my reason for being.