• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
A

allmyfault

Member
Mar 6, 2025
19
But I'm FUCKING SCARED. I can't beat my survival instinct. I tried drinking and looking for someone to do it with, but I failed. If I were an American, I'd shoot myself in the head without a second's hesitation. I bet. Or I could have used SN. I'm that desperate. I have to die, regardless of my will... My life is irreparable. I resent my country for not being able to die comfortably.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: askmeifimatree, carlbot, Fresh Soju and 8 others
DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Elementalist
Feb 9, 2025
831
No high buildings in my city, also got very strict gunlaws in my country, so I cannot gain access to firearms.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: carlbot and Fresh Soju
A

allmyfault

Member
Mar 6, 2025
19
No high buildings in my city, also got very strict gunlaws in my country, so I cannot gain access to firearms.
I didn't expect that. Since everyone lives in an apartment here, there are lots of buildings over 15 stories. It would be hard if there was no suitable place. Is it hard to get a SN?
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
47,973
I understand, it's just so cruel to me how the option to die painlessly like falling into an permanent sleep is denied, I just want to cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find the freedom from suffering you search for.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: allmyfault and Carrot
T

tiredoflife2

Student
Jan 21, 2025
125
I'd only have the guts to jump if I was really desperate and as last ditch. It must be scary. Personally I'd rather take sn or something.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ForeverCaHa
JamesMoonDerWater

JamesMoonDerWater

Member
Mar 21, 2025
28
But I'm FUCKING SCARED. I can't beat my survival instinct. I tried drinking and looking for someone to do it with, but I failed. If I were an American, I'd shoot myself in the head without a second's hesitation. I bet. Or I could have used SN. I'm that desperate. I have to die, regardless of my will... My life is irreparable. I resent my country for not being able to die comfortably.
We got you, totally. SI is really a bitch. I truly hope that you find peace here or somewhere else ❤️
 
  • Love
Reactions: allmyfault
ForeverCaHa

ForeverCaHa

Heartbroken Welshman
Feb 16, 2025
442
I feel like the survival instinct with jumping would be off the charts. Like, unbelievable. I live near the coast, so I know it's an option if I get desperate, but the thought of going through with it terrifies me. It's a completely natural response, so don't beat yourself up about it!
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: allmyfault and Fresh Soju
NonEssential

NonEssential

Hanging in there
Jan 15, 2025
568
It's a method I've wanted to go for, but nothing here is high enough to guarantee (or at least 99%) death. I wouldn't want to fuck up and have to live the rest of my life being crippled.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fresh Soju
bananaolympus

bananaolympus

Specialist
Dec 12, 2024
394
In my experience is not terrifying actually the opposite when i let myself go i felt a big relief
 
  • Like
Reactions: allmyfault
dissolved_girl

dissolved_girl

i'll be gone soon.
Mar 16, 2025
18
i'm in the exact same situation as you oh my god. i'm going to jump too, but if i were an american i would also shoot myself. i wish you luck and the peace you have been searching for.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: tender/branson and allmyfault
Fresh Soju

Fresh Soju

~🍻자살처럼🍶~
Oct 11, 2020
453
Jumping when/if I do decide to go will likely be my option as well, though like DivineSpark, I also don't have any high places to jump from in my city, except for one place which would be high enough, but I'd have to break into someone's apartment and that wouldn't exactly be ideal..
 
  • Like
Reactions: allmyfault
Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
Mar 14, 2025
621
But I'm FUCKING SCARED. I can't beat my survival instinct. I tried drinking and looking for someone to do it with, but I failed. If I were an American, I'd shoot myself in the head without a second's hesitation. I bet. Or I could have used SN. I'm that desperate. I have to die, regardless of my will... My life is irreparable. I resent my country for not being able to die comfortably.
I've tried to jump. I just can't overcome my SI.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: allmyfault and Fresh Soju
C

carlbot

🐢
Mar 18, 2025
26
I've tried to jump. I just can't overcome my SI.
Same (like we were speaking about earlier), I would consider jumping but there's literally nothing over 4 stories near me.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: allmyfault and Fresh Soju
A

allmyfault

Member
Mar 6, 2025
19
I'd only have the guts to jump if I was really desperate and as last ditch. It must be scary. Personally I'd rather take sn or something.
I really want to, but I can't get SN in my country. I wish I had the same nationality as you🥲
It's a method I've wanted to go for, but nothing here is high enough to guarantee (or at least 99%) death. I wouldn't want to fuck up and have to live the rest of my life being crippled.
That's also a huge scare. If I'm unlucky enough to survive being smashed all over... Fuck I don't even want to imagine.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: Fresh Soju
B

baberty

Member
Mar 24, 2025
39
I know. I can't even jump. I can't walk anymore, so being able to jump isn't even an option. I wish I could go to the top of a high rise & just take one last step. I can't even do that. I hate this. It feels like death is taunting me. Like oblivion is so close, but still out of reach. I HATE this. It hurts to breathe from being so alone.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: allmyfault and Paper_Cut_93
N

NoHorizon

A pig in a cage on antibiotics
Nov 22, 2022
413
I went to Beachy Head to do it, but got too scared to go through with it. Looking down from that height is terrifying. Wish I had more courage.
 

Similar threads

U
Replies
8
Views
260
Suicide Discussion
Ghostlights
Ghostlights
freezerbr1d3
Replies
16
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
EmptyBottle
EmptyBottle
farawaystar
Replies
6
Views
506
Suicide Discussion
meatballlover
meatballlover
farawaystar
Replies
16
Views
724
Suicide Discussion
farawaystar
farawaystar