I have to say I was coming back from the University yesterday and I just thought to myself "what if I just got off the platform with a jump and layed on the rails. No one would've dared come off the platform to rescue me and before they could do something it'd be all over....
.
I wouldn't have to worry about my computer science courses, I wouldn't have to endure the endless marathon of travelling back on a boring train as an introvert that hates to be around people. No more pain, and hopefully an instantaneous death however I have to say this option is very unrealistic. It goes against every instinct in your body knowing there'll be a few seconds of intense pain before you die. similarly jumping off a bridge or ledge like what if you survive the fall only to get a broken leg or 50 fractures and then drown as a result of and have to go suffocate in the dark scary harbour water.
People deserve the right to die in peace, which is one of the reasons that I support this forum. If you have a first order desire meaning a desire that you want to have e.g. not live anymore it's your right to have what you want instead of a second order desire meaning a desire you don't want to have - such as being attracted to an individual despite hating them and wishing you would just get rid of them but have an attachment with them. You're not acting in accordance to your real beliefs and desires and hence your free-will is reduced because of your biological instincts keep preventing you from doing what you truly want.
If it's Ur desire to die U don't want to go through an excruciating process of suffering, suffocating or being driven over by a train. If it's what you truly want I recommend that you use this site, do a little research into painless methods and come up with a better escape plan because these other methods are accessible, you could take some anti-anxiety medication so that you aren't fearful and just plan it out, you don't want to make an impulsive decision and horrify onlookers and Ur mother as well.
I know life is suffering but I feel like you're not truly ready to go, when/if you are don't make a scene make it less hard for your family to deal with Ur loss saying something like "I just can't take it anymore" please please think about a different method.