Jealous of the deceased and terminally ill

[keg-ireland]

Anyone else feel jealous when they see death notices on their Facebook feed or similar? Wishing it was you that was deceased. Or jealous of those with a terminal illness wishing it was you as you are cared for and pain Managed just before you die.

I find myself jealous of these people as I want my suffering to be over but my survival instinct is too great for me to be successful with CTB.

Twice this week I had the perfect opportunity for full suspension hanging. Both times I had the noose tightened and all i had to do was step off the high chair but I couldn't do it. I should be dead already but damn SI is preventing that.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm jealous of those who are dead. They're the only types of people who I am jealous of. I can't even be jealous of billionaires as they still have to suffer via existence but those who are dead no longer have to suffer. The one thing that I value the most is minimising my own suffering hence it makes sense for me to envy those who have minimised their suffering. Of course the types of people I envy the most are those who were never born to begin with

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes of course I envy those who no longer suffer in this existence, in fact to me they are the only true fortunate ones. For me, death is always better than meaningless, pointless suffering in an existence that was always so undesirable in the first place, I have no interest in being trapped in this existence for decades on end just to be tormented and dying in agony from old age.

I see human existence as the most futile and hopeless burden that only death can bring me peace from, I never would have wanted or chosen to exist no matter what, I especially envy those who died peacefully. All that I wish for is to sleep eternally, I only see non-existence as ideal as it's the permanent absence of all suffering and harm.

 

[keg-ireland]

I'm jealous of those who are dead. They're the only types of people who I am jealous of. I can't even be jealous of billionaires as they still have to suffer via existence but those who are dead no longer have to suffer. The one thing that I value the most is minimising my own suffering hence it makes sense for me to envy those who have minimised their suffering. Of course the types of people I envy the most are those who were never born to begin with

Very true, money/wealth has no advantage when dealing with lifes suffering. I had to quit my job recently but I have saved up quite a bit of money and live in a fairly upmarket house. I've lots if expensive material things but all of it means nothing. Depression wins everytime. It's a cruel world.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Anyone else feel jealous when they see death notices on their Facebook feed or similar? Wishing it was you that was deceased. Or jealous of those with a terminal illness wishing it was you as you are cared for and pain Managed just before you die.

I find myself jealous of these people as I want my suffering to be over but my survival instinct is too great for me to be successful with CTB.

Twice this week I had the perfect opportunity for full suspension hanging. Both times I had the noose tightened and all i had to do was step off the high chair but I couldn't do it. I should be dead already but damn SI is preventing that.

I totally get it. It's so wrong that people who want to stay, can't and vice versa. I know ill people who really want to stay alive and feel guilty I'd take their place in a heartbeat.

 

[mrelief82]

Anyone else feel jealous when they see death notices on their Facebook feed or similar? Wishing it was you that was deceased. Or jealous of those with a terminal illness wishing it was you as you are cared for and pain Managed just before you die.

I find myself jealous of these people as I want my suffering to be over but my survival instinct is too great for me to be successful with CTB.

Twice this week I had the perfect opportunity for full suspension hanging. Both times I had the noose tightened and all i had to do was step off the high chair but I couldn't do it. I should be dead already but damn SI is preventing that.

I feel jealous of deceased or those with terminal cancer everyday for last 4 years :( . Why can't we swap , my friend has cancer but get life is good apart from that , I would take it as I can't recover psychologically which no one understand. With cancer you get support , pity and you die .

 

[keg-ireland]

I feel jealous of deceased or those with terminal cancer everyday for last 4 years :( . Why can't we swap , my friend has cancer but get life is good apart from that , I would take it as I can't recover psychologically which no one understand. With cancer you get support , pity and you die .

Totally understand as I think exactly like you do. Life is just so unfair.

 

[mrelief82]

Totally understand as I think exactly like you do. Life is just so unfair.

If I felt ok nad life was like I planned news about cancer would be devastating but in my situation would be a relief and a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[clara_18]

Aunque me siento mal al decirlo, por que se que la gran mayoria de esa gente daria lo que fuera por vivir, me gustaria que me diagnosticaran alguna enfermedad terminal y simplemente saber que en algun momento cercano se acabaria todo