Venting I've ruined everything

[Sammystink]

Today's been a mess, my boyfriend heard about my plans to ctb and he's panicking and thinking about suicide himself...
This js all my fault, I think to myself all the time that I deserve to die, and that everyone will be happier without me. They all try to convince me im wrong, and then in the same day I'm proven right. I either need to run away from everyone or die. It's the only good thing I can do

 

[Jadeith]

This js all my fault

Oh? Did you ask to feel this way? Did you ask to be born into this shithole of a world? Apologies but i find it hard to believe that you are at fault. No, you don't have to convince me. It's just an observation.

I think to myself all the time that I deserve to die, and that everyone will be happier without me.

Yet, they all try to convince you otherwise with your bf reaching state of panic. Seems to me that you deserve many things, like love and peace of mind. Death? I wouldn't be so sure... I mean, if you want to, that's your right. But neither your duty nor sentence.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Hi, welcome to SaSu. Not sure how the idea of CTB becomes contagious, but ig it's the simplicity of such an idea that helps make it alluring.

Spoiler: Backstory

I first heard of the idea in 2016, when a teacher (with orange hair) told students that another student had attempted to end their life, I tried guessing to myself who it could be (maybe any 3+ of 20+ students) and I asked the most clueless question in Year 6... 'what method?'!

The teacher said that "That's not an appropriate question to ask", I searched for the Wikipedia article for Suicide (and it listed many methods) not too long after. Long story short, revisiting that article in 2019 or so lead me here.

Our decisions are shaped by those around us, so it's possible that others also managed to do a lot of things wrong, from being too judgy of you (and maybe even themselves), to being unkind, etc.

Even still, SaSu avoids judging its users, and I hope ur stay here makes u feel better.