Venting I've made up my mind, but I'm worried about my closest friend.

[LikeAPendulum]

Something happened today that turned things really sour real fast. I just thought, "I'm done. I'm tired of everyone and everything." After months, years of delay and hesitation, Its convinced me to finally do it. But I can't help but worry on how, or if I should even address this to the people who are close to me. I never tried to tell any friends about my troubles; the last time I did that, they couldn't take it and bailed. I don't blame him.

I bought some SN in April, and was so close to doing it. But I put it aside when I was motivated to improve myself. But that energy ran out and I'm not going to waste my $25.

I don't know what else to say. I'm just worn out after all this. I'm running on fumes.

I wonder if I should even say anymore when I've said enough in this life.
Should there be anything I should get in order before I do it? Should I write a will, throw away my stuff, get finances in order, etc?

 

[kråkevind]

Why did your friends bail on you? Are these the same people you are thinking of addressing now or is it one person?

 

[-TheSorrow-]

If you really are going through with cbt, perhaps it's a good idea putting those that you hold dear into the will, might not seem like much but could benefit them in passing.
I do hope you find peace, whatever you choose.

 

[LikeAPendulum]

Why did your friends bail on you? Are these the same people you are thinking of addressing now or is it one person?

it was one friend i had many many years ago, when i was much younger. I guess i was too clingy to him with my sadness and he couldn't take it no more.

I've learned my lesson since then.

 

[tothepoint]

If you have financial assets you can usually set beneficiaries online. That's what I plan on doing instead of a will. It's probably not as good as a will, but hopefully it gets things broadly right. I also plan on leaving information on my financial accounts so that the survivors can find them easily.

 

[kråkevind]

I'm not sure what to say about your friend. That seems pretty shitty to abandon you when he knew you needed him. I'm sorry he did that to you. Do you have anybody in particular that you want to leave your stuff to?

 

[Slasher]

your closest friends will probably probably have a tough time accepting it and might blame themselves for it. I reassured my closest friend that I will be doing it if he intervenes or not and it isn't his fault in any way shape or form. I would at least make sure you comfort the people near you and don't let people suffer for no reason after your passing but that's just my opinion.