I've got to go soon, I feel it

[BlackBlood6]

I've been really working on cardio as priority training. I'm trying to lose weight and get conditioning up as much as possible for a hanging method.

I don't want to be here anymore. I've been through the ringer of life so bad. I got a schizophrenia diagnoses in my early years before 20 and now at 30 i'm basically being discarded by everyone and everything.

I just found what works for me in a way, but still completely broken as a human being. I got no medication and can't really feel anything right now just wanted to vent a little and get active on here again because I need to get to planning.

The only method i've got really is a partial hanging, and it scares me. But I do also have a pullup tower with a weight limit of 400 pounds I think. I may try hanging from that. I'm not sure what I weigh anymore, probably anywhere from 270-285. Not sure. But i'm hoping i'll be able to pull this off with a partial and a pullup tower.
I also had a method of suffocation but was warned against it. Any critiques on this one welcome.

Bag over head. All air of bag pushed out.
Tape over the bag. Then handcuffs behind back to fight SI.
I thought this one seemed solid, but idk.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, I wish you the best of luck in your plans and I hope that you find the freedom you are searching for.

 

[BlackBlood6]

Thanks @FuneralCry
I can see you've been here a while. That sucks. :\
I'm buying alcohol tonight and attempting. Reading up as much as I can now so I don't get this wrong think I finally got the courage.
Can finally see myself starting back at me saying "no you won't" bout to prove that mf'er wrong lol

 

[idonothing]

I just bought some alcohol in preparation for a hanging attempt tonight too. Wish you the best, whatever ends up happening for you. I've felt that my time is close to running out for a while now too.

 

[BlackBlood6]

It's not a bad thing @idonothing
I don't think anyways.... mortal coil still shouting residuals of what if/what could've but pointless. Those just get you to suffer here more.