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xenny

xenny

New Member
May 13, 2024
3
I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts since i was 13. i was growing up in an unhealthy environment, with my stepdad constantly abusing me mentally. i turned 20 couple of days ago and i still am suicidal. i sought for psychiatric help last summer but it didn't really help me. it brought me some temporary relief though, as the medications i was taking made me completely numb and indifferent to whatever was going on around me. too bad i can't take them all the time…
there were some periods of peace when thoughts of killing myself didn't even cross my mind, but several years ago i had a relapse. it hits even harder as i was sure i got rid of suicidal tendencies, but now it's happening again.
i wish i could take my life but i'm so scared to hurt my mom and siblings. i know my mom will blame herself for the rest of her life if i do it. mom and my little sister and brother are the only thing that keeps me going
 
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