There's something so beautiful about accepting your own mortality and knowing the exact moment you're going to die. In my experience, you learn to appreciate everything you have and stop taking things for granted, you learn to live in the present and value the time you have left, and you learn to accept whatever happens to you as you know it's only temporary.
I am so incredibly thankful for these last few moments of peace, wisdom, and clarity. I've been able to reflect on myself and live life as if nothing fucking matters anymore and just enjoying it while it lasts! If there is a God, genuinely, thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to live through the human experience and feel every human emotion. And thank you for allowing me to end my existence peacefully and painlessly.
Not many people can say that they died on their own terms with no regrets. I consider myself lucky in that regard, and I have been able to accomplish everything I wanted to and more! The first thing I did was fly to Vegas and gamble $40k in one sitting and WON. Let me tell you, there is no feeling in the world that even came close to that high.
I got to go on many adventures with that money and dine at some restaurants I never thought I'd be able to afford. I also gave a good amount to my parents and my friends that needed it the most. I was able to fund my fitness journey and completely transform my body. I went from being an incredibly skinny, underweight dude to attaining a physique I'm really proud of. Also stoked about hitting my 545lbs deadlift goal, and being able to train and help new/inexperienced lifters that asked me for advice.
I spent a lot of this time watching all the great movies I missed out on like Jurassic Park, Jaws, 2001, Schindler's List, Donnie Darko, Memento, and a bunch of others. I got to beat all those video games I always said I would beat eventually (LOVED Divinity 2). I managed to somehow break some world records on the new Jedi Survivor game after only 2 weeks of owning it, I killed Radahn with only a wooden shield, I was briefly rank #1 on Apex Legends, got S Rank on every level in Cuphead, hit 50 Platinum trophies, and some other cool stuff!
I've also used these final moments to study philosophy and meditation. This was one of the most life changing and eye-opening decisions I've ever made. I'm very new but I absolutely loved the works of Marcus Aurelius, Plato, Kierkegaard, and Albert Camus. They changed my entire perception of life and everything around me and helped me cope with my anxiety/depression/existential dread. I have learned to love nature and appreciate every beautiful sunrise and the reflection of it on the lake. I have learned to love my neighbor and have empathy and be kind and generous to everyone around me. I have learned to love myself, everything I have accomplished, and the person I have become.
I'm gonna miss dogs, nice weather, caffeine, love, cheeseburgers, getting drunk, Soulslike games, deadlifting, mind-blowing movies, crying, music that is perfect for my mood, obstacle races, driving fast, making new friends, getting a good night's sleep.
I'm probably missing some stuff but if you made it this far, thank you for reading my shitty life story! It doesn't bother me if no one reads this it just feels good to get it off my chest. I'm hoping i made a positive impact on this world no matter how small or inconsequential it may be. I hope i improved at least one person's life and changed it for the better. I genuinely hope you all live wonderful and happy lives. Please appreciate what you have while you still can. You all deserve to love and be loved. For whatever it's worth, I love you. Goodbye
I am so incredibly thankful for these last few moments of peace, wisdom, and clarity. I've been able to reflect on myself and live life as if nothing fucking matters anymore and just enjoying it while it lasts! If there is a God, genuinely, thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to live through the human experience and feel every human emotion. And thank you for allowing me to end my existence peacefully and painlessly.
Not many people can say that they died on their own terms with no regrets. I consider myself lucky in that regard, and I have been able to accomplish everything I wanted to and more! The first thing I did was fly to Vegas and gamble $40k in one sitting and WON. Let me tell you, there is no feeling in the world that even came close to that high.
I got to go on many adventures with that money and dine at some restaurants I never thought I'd be able to afford. I also gave a good amount to my parents and my friends that needed it the most. I was able to fund my fitness journey and completely transform my body. I went from being an incredibly skinny, underweight dude to attaining a physique I'm really proud of. Also stoked about hitting my 545lbs deadlift goal, and being able to train and help new/inexperienced lifters that asked me for advice.
I spent a lot of this time watching all the great movies I missed out on like Jurassic Park, Jaws, 2001, Schindler's List, Donnie Darko, Memento, and a bunch of others. I got to beat all those video games I always said I would beat eventually (LOVED Divinity 2). I managed to somehow break some world records on the new Jedi Survivor game after only 2 weeks of owning it, I killed Radahn with only a wooden shield, I was briefly rank #1 on Apex Legends, got S Rank on every level in Cuphead, hit 50 Platinum trophies, and some other cool stuff!
I've also used these final moments to study philosophy and meditation. This was one of the most life changing and eye-opening decisions I've ever made. I'm very new but I absolutely loved the works of Marcus Aurelius, Plato, Kierkegaard, and Albert Camus. They changed my entire perception of life and everything around me and helped me cope with my anxiety/depression/existential dread. I have learned to love nature and appreciate every beautiful sunrise and the reflection of it on the lake. I have learned to love my neighbor and have empathy and be kind and generous to everyone around me. I have learned to love myself, everything I have accomplished, and the person I have become.
I'm gonna miss dogs, nice weather, caffeine, love, cheeseburgers, getting drunk, Soulslike games, deadlifting, mind-blowing movies, crying, music that is perfect for my mood, obstacle races, driving fast, making new friends, getting a good night's sleep.
I'm probably missing some stuff but if you made it this far, thank you for reading my shitty life story! It doesn't bother me if no one reads this it just feels good to get it off my chest. I'm hoping i made a positive impact on this world no matter how small or inconsequential it may be. I hope i improved at least one person's life and changed it for the better. I genuinely hope you all live wonderful and happy lives. Please appreciate what you have while you still can. You all deserve to love and be loved. For whatever it's worth, I love you. Goodbye
