I've accepted Grim Reaper as my Savior, also how to tie loose ends?

[BlueButterfly19]

I'm waiting for my SN to arrive in the mail. Knowing I will have a way out when I feel the time is right gives me peace. I read something beautiful about death doulas that I wish wasn't so taboo or illegal to do. We have doulas for birth, a painful process that some women choose to go through. Every single one of us dies, and it is a painful process. It would be nice to have support in the last moments. It's a shame we have to commit suicide alone, it's very sad. But I feel planning my last days on earth will be just as important as planning what to do before leaving.

I'm not ready to leave soon but I remember a long time ago I told myself I'd rather die as a young man than live to old age as a woman (I'm a trans man). Unfortunately I might be another trans suicide statistic but at the same time I feel like my suicide will be because I'm ready, not because I don't have supportive friends and family. My parents were never supportive of me being trans and honestly I dealt with a lot of abuse from them both. But I have lots of friends, a loving brother, and supportive coworkers so I feel I still have some life left in me for now.

I know most people will say it doesn't matter when you're gone what happens afterwards. But I'd like to have a plan in place because there are some people I'll be leaving behind that I do care about. I still need to write a will, is it as simple as writing one or do you need to have it notarized or something? Am I supposed to leave the will with a trusted friend or just somewhere in my home that is easy to access? I don't want my parents to know at all that I died, as I know they'll misgender and deadname me at my funeral. Can I tell them not to attend my funeral in my will? I don't know if I can prevent them from finding out I died, but I'd at least not want them at my funeral. I also need to make sure my finances go to my brother, anyone know what kind of process that is like? Not sure if I should leave a suicide note... Decisions, decisions.

 

[Sutter]

Can get a will done online or with a local lawyer. You could stipulate a letter be read at your funeral, essentially calling out your parents if they tried to attend.

Finances are easier list a beneficiary for the account, usually all proceeds are dropped directly to a beneficiary without probate. If you have substantial holdings and or debt then probate is usually a year to clear all liens known and unknown.

Other financial close outs depend on a….timeline. For example most insurance pays out on a suicide after an initial period, usually 2-3 years, food for thought.

Anything else you leave your brother would usually have to go through probate and…most wills have an executor. An executor can bill reasonable expenses back to the estate, something to think about.

If you have alot of assets it gets messier, if you have less it gets easier. There are some other issues to think about, not sure if you have considered them or not. Things where, when, who will find you ect.

Whether keeping your time short or running the years out its your path, thank you for your posts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine it must be a relief to feel more at peace but anyway I wish you the best.