B
BlueButterfly19
Member
- Sep 14, 2024
- 36
I'm waiting for my SN to arrive in the mail. Knowing I will have a way out when I feel the time is right gives me peace. I read something beautiful about death doulas that I wish wasn't so taboo or illegal to do. We have doulas for birth, a painful process that some women choose to go through. Every single one of us dies, and it is a painful process. It would be nice to have support in the last moments. It's a shame we have to commit suicide alone, it's very sad. But I feel planning my last days on earth will be just as important as planning what to do before leaving.
I'm not ready to leave soon but I remember a long time ago I told myself I'd rather die as a young man than live to old age as a woman (I'm a trans man). Unfortunately I might be another trans suicide statistic but at the same time I feel like my suicide will be because I'm ready, not because I don't have supportive friends and family. My parents were never supportive of me being trans and honestly I dealt with a lot of abuse from them both. But I have lots of friends, a loving brother, and supportive coworkers so I feel I still have some life left in me for now.
I know most people will say it doesn't matter when you're gone what happens afterwards. But I'd like to have a plan in place because there are some people I'll be leaving behind that I do care about. I still need to write a will, is it as simple as writing one or do you need to have it notarized or something? Am I supposed to leave the will with a trusted friend or just somewhere in my home that is easy to access? I don't want my parents to know at all that I died, as I know they'll misgender and deadname me at my funeral. Can I tell them not to attend my funeral in my will? I don't know if I can prevent them from finding out I died, but I'd at least not want them at my funeral. I also need to make sure my finances go to my brother, anyone know what kind of process that is like? Not sure if I should leave a suicide note... Decisions, decisions.
I'm not ready to leave soon but I remember a long time ago I told myself I'd rather die as a young man than live to old age as a woman (I'm a trans man). Unfortunately I might be another trans suicide statistic but at the same time I feel like my suicide will be because I'm ready, not because I don't have supportive friends and family. My parents were never supportive of me being trans and honestly I dealt with a lot of abuse from them both. But I have lots of friends, a loving brother, and supportive coworkers so I feel I still have some life left in me for now.
I know most people will say it doesn't matter when you're gone what happens afterwards. But I'd like to have a plan in place because there are some people I'll be leaving behind that I do care about. I still need to write a will, is it as simple as writing one or do you need to have it notarized or something? Am I supposed to leave the will with a trusted friend or just somewhere in my home that is easy to access? I don't want my parents to know at all that I died, as I know they'll misgender and deadname me at my funeral. Can I tell them not to attend my funeral in my will? I don't know if I can prevent them from finding out I died, but I'd at least not want them at my funeral. I also need to make sure my finances go to my brother, anyone know what kind of process that is like? Not sure if I should leave a suicide note... Decisions, decisions.