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Canttakeitanymore

Student
Feb 11, 2021
182
I know its "like before you were born" but when i think about dying i think about feeling that relief from ending this specific shitty life, but i sort of imagine myself in heaven or something life that, or a new good life u know, its weird to think that i will never actually feel that relief from everything being over
 
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contemplatingjaahil

contemplatingjaahil

Done.
Nov 25, 2019
72
I know exactly what you mean, like I wont be able to feel happy or relieved or anything I wont even know im dead.
 
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nolongerhuman

nolongerhuman

Arcanist
Feb 9, 2021
497
What I tend to imagine is the moments right before death, when I know that everything is finally over and I will never have to feel so horrible ever again. I can hardly imagine how wonderful that feeling is going to be.
 
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Revered

Revered

Member
Mar 6, 2021
50
Sort of. I'm just as baffled by existence itself. Like, why?
 
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contemplatingjaahil

contemplatingjaahil

Done.
Nov 25, 2019
72
Sort of. I'm just as baffled by existence itself. Like, why?
I know right. It was so useless. Ive done nothing particularly meaningful in my life
 
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Ame

Ame

あめ
Nov 1, 2019
322
This is why I find it strange when I read about "finding peace" when there is nothing to be found in death. We do not get to strike "dying" off of our list when we die, because frankly there is likely no "self" to be cognizant of the fact that we have died. It is such an ugly truth and I find that it to be such a waste. Everything we've learned and all of the love that we had, cease to be. We take nothing with us but a part of our surviving loved ones when we die. Self-awareness may have been an evolutionary boon (because who can deny the advantage of being both programmer and machine) but it is a certainly a curse.
 
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newave3

newave3

I want out
Nov 21, 2020
2,802
It would be nice to have relief from our emotional and physical pain while we are still alive. For most of us that it is simply not going to be possible. The only "relief" is to cease to be. As everyone is saying it is a cruel joke that we will not actually feel the relief that death brings us but I still look forward to it.
 
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BandAddict

BandAddict

Specialist
Apr 3, 2019
338
I've thought about this, not existing, but not the part about possibly not being able to realize that the suffering is over. Interesting.

I guess one thing I can hold onto is the feeling just moments before death. Know that it WILL be over, and counting on feeling the same way I did during my last attempt: relieved, and a sense of calm and reassurance that I hadn't felt in a long time.
 
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C

Canttakeitanymore

Student
Feb 11, 2021
182
Having this stupid feeling again
 
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P

placeholder

Member
Jan 6, 2020
65
It makes me scared as shit.
 
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lofticries

lofticries

obedear
Feb 27, 2021
1,470
Sometimes but truthfully I've always felt it would have been better for me not to exist in the first place. I really serve no purpose being alive. Not even to myself.
 
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killedbypsychiatry

killedbypsychiatry

drugging kids is abuse
Jan 27, 2021
797
Yeah I get what you say about not being able to have that relief feeling that it's finally over... I wish I could feel relief and peace after, but at least all the pain will be gone.
 
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SadGirl

SadGirl

Specialist
Mar 24, 2019
374
Unfortunately or happily I believe that there is something afterwards, and stopping us suicides is not a good thing, because I am almost sure that we would suffer much more there on the other plane. One of the main reasons why I don't ctb.
I know its "like before you were born" but when i think about dying i think about feeling that relief from ending this specific shitty life, but i sort of imagine myself in heaven or something life that, or a new good life u know, its weird to think that i will never actually feel that relief from everything being over
Friend, unfortunately I think we would not go to heaven, since for God and most religions suicide is considered a grave of crime. I don't agree with that. But since I know that the supernatural exists and I have no doubt about it, I am afraid now.
 
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Fthis

Fthis

Student
Dec 8, 2020
192
Unfortunately or happily I believe that there is something afterwards, and stopping us suicides is not a good thing, because I am almost sure that we would suffer much more there on the other plane. One of the main reasons why I don't ctb.

Friend, unfortunately I think we would not go to heaven, since for God and most religions suicide is considered a grave of crime. I don't agree with that. But since I know that the supernatural exists and I have no doubt about it, I am afraid now.
If you don't mind me asking, how do you know the supernatural exists?
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
Interesting thoughts.
We might either feeling nothing or wake up from this simulation and remember everything and maybe be extremely relieved.
I guess we will all find it out someday but eternal nothingness sounds better than this hell.
 
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SadGirl

SadGirl

Specialist
Mar 24, 2019
374
If you don't mind me asking, how do you know the supernatural exists?
I was an atheist, but I got to know the Umbanda religion, and there I had my proofs that I needed to believe again.
 
KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,801
This is why I find it strange when I read about "finding peace" when there is nothing to be found in death. We do not get to strike "dying" off of our list when we die, because frankly there is likely no "self" to be cognizant of the fact that we have died. It is such an ugly truth and I find that it to be such a waste. Everything we've learned and all of the love that we had, cease to be. We take nothing with us but a part of our surviving loved ones when we die. Self-awareness may have been an evolutionary boon (because who can deny the advantage of being both programmer and machine) but it is a certainly a curse.
Your posts are always very thoughtful and amazing. Never thought about self-awareness as being both the programmer and the machine.
 
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voyager

voyager

Don't you dare go hollow...
Nov 25, 2019
963
Yeah, it's actually why I would kind of love being put in a situation where I knew I'd die for certain or alternatively being decapitated. Apparently one is still sentient for a few seconds, and I imagine that being extremely peaceful knowing one has succeeded.
 
Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,732
Yes, it is literally unimaginable. Nonexistence is a mindfuck. You can only ever understand it conceptually.
 
N

nothingchanges

Student
Sep 11, 2020
106
I know its "like before you were born" but when i think about dying i think about feeling that relief from ending this specific shitty life, but i sort of imagine myself in heaven or something life that, or a new good life u know, its weird to think that i will never actually feel that relief from everything being over
I mean sure you won't be cognizant of the difference but you won't be alive to feel all the suffering either.
 
R

RedundantRecord

Member
Jun 24, 2021
16
Non-existence does still grant the absence of all meaningless punishment for consumption of entertainment which I find to be meaningful even without awareness of it as peculiar as that may be regarded. To me, not experiencing is the ideal that should have been kept to begin with and the arrangement of a return to that state sooner rather than later is the closest compensation possible.


This is why I find it strange when I read about "finding peace" when there is nothing to be found in death. We do not get to strike "dying" off of our list when we die, because frankly there is likely no "self" to be cognizant of the fact that we have died. It is such an ugly truth and I find that it to be such a waste. Everything we've learned and all of the love that we had, cease to be. We take nothing with us but a part of our surviving loved ones when we die. Self-awareness may have been an evolutionary boon (because who can deny the advantage of being both programmer and machine) but it is a certainly a curse.

The "peace" may be referring to the absence of anything disturbing, which is included in one's death, or in other words, the commenced permanent cessation of one's perspective and everything it could perceive, it is however misleading to suggest anything is experienced after annihilation of the mind.

Self-awareness can indeed be regarded as a curse, because while it enables control over the management of one's body which initial existence and properties fundamentally cannot be controlled by oneself, similarly to how you can choose to act in accordance with what you want but not choose what it is you want, it also enables awareness of all existential troubles, placing importance on purpose over performance in a reality that favors performance over purpose. Many point to a loss of potential in the temporary nature of all things, but I think this potential is dependent on the meaning of what purpose is fulfilled, nothing pointless becomes less pointless depending on whether that lasts eternally or not.

However, self-awareness can also be considered a blessing in the jestingly cruel reality as the ability to be aware of life's futility provides greater control over choices and investments as opposed to doing whatever on some coincidentally set path in blind ignorance without ever thoughtfully assessing the progress or results, unwanted outcomes aren't more wanted because they transpire unrecognized, conversely, wanted outcomes aren't less wanted because they transpire unrecognized.
 
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H

hdahsa

Member
Jul 25, 2021
57
I agree with the OP. Death is final. Once you die, you will not be able to rejoice that you are dead. Out of the ones left behind, those who truly love you will suffer for a long time while the rest of the world just moves on.

In my religion, it is supposed to happen this way - 13 days after you die someone from above comes to take your soul to be judged for your deeds here. They travel for a year and then arrive at the judgement counter. There you are graded considering your good and bad deeds. Then you either attain nirvana or go to heaven or hell or wait for rebirth.

What I would like is to hang around and see the reactions of people to my ctb.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,565
Existence is all we know really, so it is hard to comprehend not existing. I just find it a relief that I will not feel or experience anything again once I die, it comforts me. I see eternal nothingness as true peace.
 
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T

toforigivelife

Arcanist
Jul 5, 2021
493
Since the days of the caveman humans have been deeply programmed to survive at all cost.

There are people who could be hit by a truck and left paralyzed from the neck down, rendered blind with half their skull missing and still celebrate the fact that they "survived". I guess it's human nature to have an existential fear of death.

There's a chance that there is something beyond this life.

There are intelligent, logical, mentally and emotionally healthy people who have had what are called near death experiences (and there are those who posess none of those qualities who have had them too, if we're being honest) and who are absolutely certain that there is something beyond this existence.

That this life is a hoax, the real you survives death, our bodies just become empty, meaningless shells once we "cross over" and that there is a beautiful, indescribable place of love where you deal with all of your wrongdoings but that there is no judgement, no "hell".

Then there is a chance there is nothing.

Although I don't fear death I've wrestled with that existential fear of no longer existing. But after seeing your post and really stopped and thought about it, nothingness is nothing to be afraid of either.
 
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fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
I was not complaining before I was born. Being born was rather traumatic, no wonder kids cry.
I like to think there is nothing after death. Than every sin is forgiven and no matter how bad this life can get It is ok.
but
If there is something for us after death; I won't be satisfied with anything less than being one with god, forever, with no distinction between me and the Dao.
 
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