It's time to say goodbye.

[DariaBuPL]

I have been planning this for 4 months now. And finally after checking all the places I could possibly do it and thinking about which method would be the best for me, I'm ready.
And to be honest, I'm kinda terrified and happy at the same time.
I'm just sad that I can't cry anymore. Even one, single tear. Because I still love all my friends and family. I'm just glad that I could spend my best and last days with them. Hope that they would forgive me one day.

I know it's kinda hard to see anything, but I decided to post a picture of my preparation of everything (even if it's not the best or something; I'm kinda scared that I will wake up, laying on the leaves or anything else):



Well, wish me luck.

 

[Addy92]

Hope you find peace. You're more than welcome back if you change your mind.

 

[Psilo]

Best of luck, may you find peace.

 

[melanchcly]

I hope you find peace.

 

[Redrock]

Good luck friend I hope you achieve peace

 

[Jc40]

Good luck and I hope there is little pain and you'll rest in peace

 

[Ifonlysheknew]

May you finally be at peace

 

[throwaway777]

i hope u wont suffer ... i wish u peace<3

 

[sonax22]

Good luck and I hope you find the peace you are looking for <3

 

[Alois22]

Powodzenia

 

[Olach]

Powodzenia

 

[Lostgirl30]

I hope you find peace

 

[DariaBuPL]

Update: So, how you can see, I'm not dead.
Well, long story short, I just couldn't do it. And I know what day it is (April Fools), but this is not a joke, I swear.
So, I tried to knock down the chair, but I just couldn't. At that moment I was so scared, and right now I don't even know why or of what. But anyway.
I started talking to myself, so I maybe would finally do it, but then I realized that I'm trying to convince myself not to. So I decided to get off the chair and think about all of it once again.
When I was more calmed, I understood that I'm more of a person who "don't want to live, but don't want to die", even though I saw suicide the only way to have some peace from everything.
Right now I'm back at home and don't know what to do next. Knowing what is going to happend, I wasn't planning anything. I don't even know how I'm feeling about all of this.
Sorry guys for all of this, but I promise to all of you, that at that moment I was sure that I will do it. I'm little disappointed at myself to be honest, but for now I'm trying not to think about and go get some sleep, because I feel tired. (didn't sleep all night)
And also, sorry for my English — I had probably made a thousand mistakes in here, but how I said, I'm just tired and it's really hard to think.
And thank you for all your comments. It means a lot!

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Welcome back, and don't feel bad, I'm glad you're still with us. Just take some time and collect your thoughts for a while.

 

[sadsoul]

Welcome back :)

 

[silentsinger]

Update: So, how you can see, I'm not dead.
Well, long story short, I just couldn't do it. And I know what day it is (April Fools), but this is not a joke, I swear.
So, I tried to knock down the chair, but I just couldn't. At that moment I was so scared, and right now I don't even know why or of what. But anyway.
I started talking to myself, so I maybe would finally do it, but then I realized that I'm trying to convince myself not to. So I decided to get off the chair and think about all of it once again.
When I was more calmed, I understood that I'm more of a person who "don't want to live, but don't want to die", even though I saw suicide the only way to have some peace from everything.
Right now I'm back at home and don't know what to do next. Knowing what is going to happend, I wasn't planning anything. I don't even know how I'm feeling about all of this.
Sorry guys for all of this, but I promise to all of you, that at that moment I was sure that I will do it. I'm little disappointed at myself to be honest, but for now I'm trying not to think about and go get some sleep, because I feel tired. (didn't sleep all night)
And also, sorry for my English — I had probably made a thousand mistakes in here, but how I said, I'm just tired and it's really hard to think.
And thank you for all your comments. It means a lot!

Never apologise. It is terribly frightening when you truly feel that you are about to do it. It just wasn't the right time. Don't put pressure on yourself. Glad you are able to open up about it.

 

[Volomori83]

I get exactly what you're feeling. I'm sat here all set up trying to end it. Had the noose around my neck at least a half dozen times and then SI kicks in and I can't kick away the stool.

 

[dandan]

Magishy - no problem if you change your mind, and if you find peace , well good for you.