Venting It's time to put a plan in place

[ForWhatPurpose]

I've spent a decent amount of time on this earth. I did all the things I was supposed to do but still, I wake up every day more depressed than the last like none of them mattered. Meds don't help, my partner abused me, failed transition, and, to cap it off, a firing so devastating it practically ruined my career. I'm just finally out of things to focus on and ways to cope. I don't have a timeline so much as I have trigger conditions my last few boundaries before me and ctb. Luckily, getting what I need shouldn't be too hard. I'm thinking of probably getting a nice Airbnb somewhere. That way, I won't be saved. I just wish any of the effort till now meant anything.

 

[hellworldprincess]

It's always especially sad to see another trans person become part of a statistic. I'm sorry you had to go through all the things you mentioned and I hope you find your peace.
If peace only comes in death, I wish you an easy, painless night night and hope that you allow yourself to have some good moments before you go.

 

[ForWhatPurpose]

I'm trying to find good moments, but after years, it's just not enough to tip the scales. I'm just tired of trying at this point. I just keep sliding back after only barely pulling myself out. This won't be my first attempt. I'm going to do my best to make sure it's my last.