Discussion It's the Most Horrible Time of the Year

[CentreMid]

This is the worst time of the year for me. The world is waking up again in time for spring and summer, yet I always feel a sense of dread during these sunny months. I mean sure, soccer usually distracts me for a while, and it's great that I can finally play again because of the lack of snow, but I have never been lower emotionally, and my suicidal thoughts and feelings are strongest this time of year. It's been a recurring pattern since middle school, and I don't know why.

It doesn't mean I don't want to ctb during other months (I will always want to ctb regardless of the time of year), but my urges to ctb are at the forefront right now, and they probably won't go back to the backburner until September or October at the very latest. I don't think it's necessarily a good or bad thing that my suicidal thoughts are stronger at certain times compared to others, it is what it is. But I just find this pattern intruiging.

That being said, does anyone else experience this? Doesn't necessarily have to be certain times of the year.

 

[trist]

i also experience an increasing urge to ctb when it gets warmer again and i'm not sure why.

 

[Amaterasu]

I'm the opposite.

Winter (despite being my favourite season) seems to worsen my depression.
And, something about the cold air gives me a sensation of dissociation.

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry undrstnd this, heat incrs make incrs mental illne make incrs ctb etc many othr prblm also worse, this proves study sci. Heat mean thermo mean more prblm ,also see brain ovrheat posbl body also no able handle heat. Etc

 

[Aisley]

Spring brings heavy depression for me every year. I've noticed the pattern going back into my childhood. Sometimes I use antihystamines. They don't make it go away or anything, but they take the edge off. And if that doesn't work I surround myself in sad music and sink into it, really fall into my head, and look for the changing of the leaves. I read some study years ago linking some forms of depression to allergies, and while it seems over simple, sometimes it works.

 

[Valky]

Ever heard of seasonal depression?

It is proven that cold weather/winter plays a big role in worsening depression or causing it in the first place. The lack of sunlight messes up your inner clock which leads to depression and drops in serotonin levels. This is why people in country with longer winters are at a higher risk for depression and other mental illnesses. That's also why Vitamin D is so important for us.

Now if it becomes brighter again people get happier ofc. But I feel like that's what's also worse for people with already existing mental illnesses. You see everyone around you getting happier again meanwhile you are still stuck in your hole.

I like summer because it makes me feel better in general cause of the sun. But it also makes my bad days worse cause I really feel the pressure of being supposed to be happy, supposed to work and supposed to be socialising.

 

[IceQueenMina]

yeah I definitely prefer winter. summer feels like I should be doing something or that I'm not doing enough.

 

[Lost Magic]

The place can get pretty wild during the summer months. Winter is not much better though (for me anyway) I should have been gone by now.

 

[Citruscine]

I feel this, my lowest point every year tends to be spring time. April is uni exam season and the unchanging bleakness and stress combined with seeing other people come out of their houses and enjoy things makes me want to kill myself so much more. Also, studies have shown that suicides actually spike in spring and not winter. As Aisley pointed out, inflammation plays a role in depression and spring allergies can be a big factor in increasing inflammation. But also the increase in energy people get tends to result in going through with attempts