Venting Its the little things

[underthedatetree]

When I'm holding it together for the day but then my mom tells me that she had to take an hour long detour to avoid the plane that was following her and speaks to me in code about what to do to shake off a plane if it follows me I get a little more eager to die. She will never go and get treatment. Because to her she does not have any mental illness, people are really following her and her family. I feel powerless and depressed that I can't do anything to stop the delusions, and I'm tortured by the uncertainty of whether they will get worse or stay at this "level" indefinitely (she first told me about them when I was 13 12 years ago, so I don't think its dementia, at least?)