It's starting to get ridiculous

[bigj75]

How the fuck did we all end up like this? Its just so incomprehensible how unfair life is. There has to be some explanation to why all this is happening!

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

I know. So sorry about all this. I am extremely angry and have nowhere to go with that anger. Most people I talk to on helplines, etc play down my suffering, and people I know avoid me because it is all too scary to them. When I feel this alone and ostracized, I don't really see what I am to do other than to just end it all. I can't stand being paralyzed like this. It is the worst form of torture.

 

[Lena]

I know. So sorry about all this. I am extremely angry and have nowhere to go with that anger. Most people I talk to on helplines, etc play down my suffering, and people I know avoid me because it is all too scary to them. When I feel this alone and ostracized, I don't really see what I am to do other than to just end it all. I can't stand being paralyzed like this. It is the worst form of torture.

You are paralyzed? I'm so sorry that sounds awful... I would want to go too, because I have a health problem that makes my life awful if I can't move around..

What happened?

 

[Jai]

How the fuck did we all end up like this? Its just so incomprehensible how unfair life is. There has to be some explanation to why all this is happening!

Either we were all cunts and I mean complete cunts in a previous life or if there's a God he hates us or doesn't care or to keep the ying yang balance we're on the half that suffer or life's a game and we don't know how to play on the winning team or it's just random or I'm just venting and don't know what the fuck I'm talking about Godspeed everyone be well

 

[Final Escape]

Combination of things.

 

[Jai]

Either we were all cunts and I mean complete cunts in a previous life or if there's a God he hates us or doesn't care or to keep the ying yang balance we're on the half that suffer or life's a game and we don't know how to play on the winning team or it's just random or I'm just venting and don't know what the fuck I'm talking about Godspeed everyone be well

Says it all in another thread some poor soul is trying to partially hang themselves their furious their trying with all their being and no success but they state people do this all the time to get off on autoerotic ayaphexiation and humorous ones accidentally kill themseleves and they can't when trying point blank says a lot to me

 

[Retched]

Either we were all cunts and I mean complete cunts in a previous life or if there's a God he hates us or doesn't care or to keep the ying yang balance we're on the half that suffer or life's a game and we don't know how to play on the winning team or it's just random or I'm just venting and don't know what the fuck I'm talking about Godspeed everyone be well

^^this! My vent too!

 

[waived]

How the fuck did we all end up like this? Its just so incomprehensible how unfair life is. There has to be some explanation to why all this is happening!

Brain function and environment.

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

You are paralyzed? I'm so sorry that sounds awful... I would want to go too, because I have a health problem that makes my life awful if I can't move around..

What happened?

It's too complicated to explain. A lot of is just medication damage that is extremely slow to heal and also complicated by many secondary problems and traumas I had developed . I am not literally paralyzed as in being in a wheelchair, but paralyzed by intense fatigue, chronic neurological pain and non-stop fear and many other problems. I depend on other people to survive at this point. It is scary. It is very scary. But the chronic fear condition makes ctb much more difficult because the chronic fear makes me doubt that I will succeed in anything, including ctb. I feel cursed.

 

[Final Escape]

It's too complicated to explain. A lot of is just medication damage that is extremely slow to heal and also complicated by many secondary problems and traumas I had developed . I am not literally paralyzed as in being in a wheelchair, but paralyzed by intense fatigue, chronic neurological pain and non-stop fear and many other problems. I depend on other people to survive at this point. It is scary. It is very scary. But the chronic fear condition makes ctb much more difficult because the chronic fear makes me doubt that I will succeed in anything, including ctb. I feel cursed.

I know it's messed up to say this but I wish I was being taken care of, I can't do it anymore. Your situation sounds very difficult, I'm sorry u have all that stuff going on :(

 

[Lena]

Oh my....... I'm I exactly the same place and I understand the anguish totally... and I understand how horrible it is that you can explain it to anyone...

 

[GeorgeEastman]

How the hell did everyone else not end up like this?

I think they're just too damn stupid.

 

[Final Escape]

This place can make it appear like life is just suffering and that dysfunction is common but I don't know what things look like for people who are well integrated into society and have good support networks. It would be interesting to see the real numbers of badly suffering, or dysfunctional people?

 

[SirChuxAlot]

You know, I was just thinking similar the other day. As a kid I use to be happy and outgoing and once I hit teenage years I became a bit of an outcast and hated life ever since. I have a few bouts of happiness here and there but they only last but so long, then back to the sadness.
Maybe one day I can find that one thing that will make me happy to wake up everyday to where I don't always feel like life is poking at me and punishing for whatever it was I did in the past. Maybe all of us here will one day but until then, at least we all have each other to vent and discuss, even if it is behind a screen, we can all relate in some way and for now, that is enough for me to know, I am not alone.

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

You know, I was just thinking similar the other day. As a kid I use to be happy and outgoing and once I hit teenage years I became a bit of an outcast and hated life ever since. I have a few bouts of happiness here and there but they only last but so long, then back to the sadness.
Maybe one day I can find that one thing that will make me happy to wake up everyday to where I don't always feel like life is poking at me and punishing for whatever it was I did in the past. Maybe all of us here will one day but until then, at least we all have each other to vent and discuss, even if it is behind a screen, we can all relate in some way and for now, that is enough for me to know, I am not alone.

Thank you. I like your post. I relate to a lot of things. I recall the happy moments in childhood, and the difficult teenage years that were complicated by a lot of absurd and strange events that happened, many of them well beyond my control. I think learning to let go on some level would have been helpful, but I didn't know how. My 20's were surprisingly decent, and so was the first half of my thirties, and things slowly went downhill until they got so bad to the point that my 40's pretty much got destroyed and the reality I'd known completely ceased to exist.

But, we can vent here, and sometimes it helps to just

 

[TheCrow]

How the fuck did we all end up like this? Its just so incomprehensible how unfair life is. There has to be some explanation to why all this is happening!

Seriously. 6-7 years ago, I thought my life was fucked. Oh, if I only knew how much worse it was going to get...

 

[Purgatory]

How the fuck did we all end up like this? Its just so incomprehensible how unfair life is. There has to be some explanation to why all this is happening!

Unfortunately, there is no on size fits all answer. Everyone has a different reason. It could be anything from inherited genetics to some form of mental and/or physical trauma.
We have quite a few imaginative and brilliant people in this group. If there was an explanation that covered us all collectively, I'm sure we'd have found it by now and be working on a cure! ;)

 

[Purgatory]

How the hell did everyone else not end up like this?

I think they're just too damn stupid.

Good point. Intelligent people are prone to depression.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/bad-news-for-the-highly-intelligent/

 

[pleasethistime]

collective solution
We raise money and buy an island found a country.
Legalize assisted suicide.
Hire a chemist to produce pentobarbital and fentanyl.
We move there become citizens.
Prolifers are not accepted.

This is just a fantasy. İ dont really think it is possible.

 

[21Neberg]

Life's unfair, but thats not new.

 

[Misanthrope]

My best guess. Indifferent causality and humanities ceaseless appetite to commodify everything including ourselves to the point of self-cannibalisation.

 

[bigj75]

Life's unfair, but thats not new.

It's not new but that doesn't negate the results of our outcome. There has to be a proper way of living that reduces the unfairness.

 

[littlelady774]

collective solution
We raise money and buy an island found a country.
Legalize assisted suicide.
Hire a chemist to produce pentobarbital and fentanyl.
We move there become citizens.
Prolifers are not accepted.

This is just a fantasy. İ dont really think it is possible.

Oh man- where do I sign up?! This sounds like paradise

 

[littlelady774]

What's worse though- is that we live in such a pro life world.
I think it used to be a lot easier to ctb- back before cars had catalytic converters and when Nembutal was sold as a sleep aid. Can't forget about those coal gas ovens.
Now we have to jump off shit and ingest salt ffs...

 

[bigj75]

What's worse though- is that we live in such a pro life world.
I think it used to be a lot easier to ctb- back before cars had catalytic converters and when Nembutal was sold as a sleep aid. Can't forget about those coal gas ovens.
Now we have to jump off shit and ingest salt ffs...

I think the pro life thing is fine but majority of prolifers have no clue on human psychology. They are blind to how the world works due to lack of knowledge and to turning a blind eye because it's hard for them to accept the truth.

 

[littlelady774]

I think the pro life thing is fine but majority of prolifers have no clue on human psychology. They are blind to how the world works due to lack of knowledge and to turning a blind eye because it's hard for them to accept the truth.

Yes, exactly.
Back before I was suicidal, I could never imagine why anyone would want to kill themselves.. it just didn't register for me.
But actually expiriencing the feeling- you understand completely.
It's like one of those 'you have to feel it to understand' kind of things.

 

[bigj75]

Yes, exactly.
Back before I was suicidal, I could never imagine why anyone would want to kill themselves.. it just didn't register for me.
But actually expiriencing the feeling- you understand completely.
It's like one of those 'you have to feel it to understand' kind of things.

Yes!

The main reason for close mindedness is not going through experiences of who ever opposes your views.

 

[littlelady774]

Yes!

The main reason for close mindedness is not having first hand experience of who ever opposes your views.

Yep- it really opened my eyes. Ever since then, I've tried to understand other perspectives on issues that that which I am opposed to.
Everybody has their reasons.

 

[goesforemast]

collective solution
We raise money and buy an island found a country.
Legalize assisted suicide.
Hire a chemist to produce pentobarbital and fentanyl.
We move there become citizens.
Prolifers are not accepted.

This is just a fantasy. İ dont really think it is possible.

That would be awesome. and the chemist could try to make N taste like honey or choclate.

 

[bigj75]

Yep- it really opened my eyes. Ever since then, I've tried to understand other perspectives on issues that that which I am opposed to.
Everybody has their reasons.

Exactly. That's why i don't hate on prolifers because i actually used to be "prolife". I used to not be depressed and still have the will to live. I enjoyed life and had passions and really enjoyed pleasures life has to offer. So i completely understand their point but now i see everyone's point of view who is on this site because im depressed, suicidal , etc.

To keep it short the combination if both sides should be this phrase.............

Suicide should never be the first action before trying other methods to eliminate depression. But if none of the other methods work then suicide is the guaranteed method that will work.