Venting Its so hard to ctb, LET ME

[Ailashan]

Alright so,

I wanna ctb very badly and i have been planning on hanging myself to die via blood choke but why is it so tricky WELP

I tried to choke myself with my hands for the whole weekend to train but it is way harder than choking someone else because i can't wrap my own arm around my neck. Now i got headaches :'/

Also there isn't any place in my house where i could attach a rope in a way that would allow me to hang via gravity. Wish ropes could just float in the air, but apparently they can't (thanks Newton).

So im waiting for Christmas to get a pull-up bar hoping it will solve the issue but its gonna be a torture to stay alive for one more month...

Also, not certain if my "rope" choice is the best here. I wanted to use a dog leash (yes, really) but it seems pretty elastic so it might not be the optimal choice here. I can't buy a rope without it being suspect too.

I got no gun, no high location to jump off, no waters where i could drown in, no meds, no drugs, no chemicals ( Except the combo paracetamol+alcohol but it takes 3 painfull days to kill you and, as im living with my familly i'll get rescued at 100%). Probably won't die to cutting myself, i don't have sharp knives here. Its also pretty painfull. Hanging is the only way that will work at 100% if i can do it correctly (i can't) and if i got the material (i don't)

I wanna die, damn.

 

[j3n4829]

its so sad that we live in a world where killing yourself is hard and doesnt go as painless and peaceful as you thought, whatever your going to do in the future, i wish you good luck and that you can find peace. hug

 

[Ailashan]

its so sad that we live in a world where killing yourself is hard and doesnt go as painless and peaceful as you thought, whatever your going to do in the future, i wish you good luck and that you can find peace. hug

Thank you very much i appreciate it :) especially the hug

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is so unnecessarily difficult to die, I find it so horrible how we are denied a right to cease existing in peace despite the fact that existence was so harmfully imposed on us in the first place. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I certainly wish that there's a straightforward way to just be free, the fact that suicide is so difficult is always what has kept me trapped here as well.