When I joined SaSu about 2 months ago, my plan was to collect everything I needed to ctb towards the end of the year because I had things I needed to check off my bucket list, but I haven't been able to get out of bed lately and I got some news that would interfere with my planned ctb at the end of the year so I had to move up the date to July 27th.
The sucky part about all this is that I couldn't even tell my friend here on SaSu because she is dealing with her own problems, and I am letting her down because I had promised we would partner if it ever came down to it but I am deeply terrified that if one of us were to survive the attempt, they would be in major trouble with the police, and they might call 911 and save the other. So as much as I wanted to, partnering seems dangerous especially with my decreased mental energy.
Anyways that's how much of a horrible person I am, even in my death I am letting down someone I care about and who I have shared this last part of the journey with, I hope she forgives me but if she doesn't, I will understand. I hope there will at least be one person to wish me a safe journey on my final goodbye thread on 7/27, I will try to update the thread after I take sn.
The sucky part about all this is that I couldn't even tell my friend here on SaSu because she is dealing with her own problems, and I am letting her down because I had promised we would partner if it ever came down to it but I am deeply terrified that if one of us were to survive the attempt, they would be in major trouble with the police, and they might call 911 and save the other. So as much as I wanted to, partnering seems dangerous especially with my decreased mental energy.
Anyways that's how much of a horrible person I am, even in my death I am letting down someone I care about and who I have shared this last part of the journey with, I hope she forgives me but if she doesn't, I will understand. I hope there will at least be one person to wish me a safe journey on my final goodbye thread on 7/27, I will try to update the thread after I take sn.
